Feb 16, 2011

Build up to the big game

The censor board has changed the certification for the Arsenal - Barcelona match at Emirates Stadium from PG( U/A) to U -well obviously, now that Bacary Sagna is suspended for the game.

Look at him - somebody recommend him to those people at Monsters Inc. Spare the little Chintu- Mintu (who have just started to embrace football) this horror. Also now that he won't be there - Arsenal fans can even cut the team photo from the newspaper tomorrow and "dress up" their walls.

The Board's decision should be applauded.There is no other reason why little kids can't watch this game. I mean where else would you see such beautiful,violence-free, nudity-free, profanity-free, sex-free football. There are no Italians who just need an excuse to remove their shirts and ... shorts, there is no John Heitinga or Mathieu Flamini or Zinedine Zidane who may cause cracked shins, bloody skulls or heart attacks on field and there is no Didier Drogba who may utter a motherfucker- or two on camera. Also, there are no Paul Scholes and Gary Neville with their on-field lovemaking - no seriously - what else is this: THE KISS ( Please click on the link - I am obviously not going to put that picture here. They might very well change the name from Old Trafford to Brokeback Mountain )

Oh and yes Sir Nicklas Bendtner - YOU ARE GOD. The spectators, the fans, the manager, your mother or even the ball may not be able to see it - but I do. You are a legend, THE best player to have ever played this game. Sad that we may not even be able to see you play today.

And is it only me, or you also think that old nursery rhymes are losing their relevance in modern families. I mean which kid wants to know about a farmer these days? So I'll suggest something new- we'll keep the vibe and the tune, we'll just change the lyrics.

Old Arsenal had a club

And in that club they had a manager


With a "moan-moan" here and a "moan-moan" there
Here a "moan", there a "moan"

Everywhere a "moan-moan"

Old Arsenal had a club


Well this post was not supposed to take a pot shot at Arsenal F.C. I really like Arsenal. Agreed, they have Sagna, Bendtner and Wenger but I still like them. It's just that I like FC Barcelona a bit more. Sad, that there are no real characters in FCB - Pique was one but now that Shakira is his girlfriend you can't even make fun of him.

PS: Somebody needs to torture( extra points for this) and kill those fucking idiots who supposedly do the game analysis on Ten Sports/Action. I am OK, even if Barca concedes the first leg to Arsenal if all 3 of them ( or at least the one on the left and one on the right to the one in the center) die of heart attacks.

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