"I am Jose Mourinho and I don't change - I arrive with all my qualities and all my defects."
Qualities:Ability to blabber entertaining 1-liners like the one above
Defects: Ability to kill everything we like about football, The 9-1 formation, The way he encourages his players to not touch the ball as long as possible, Megalomania, Cockiness, Lack of respect for players, Blaming everyone and everything in a loss, Taking credit for everything and everyone in a win, Lack of adventurism, Claiming magical abilities when he wins with teams with owners who bought him such players who would have won the league 90% of the times anyway- even without a coach ,Portuguese lineage, Porto, Chelsea, Inter Milan, Real Madrid, The way he worries more about off-pitch entertainment that he provides during post match interviews than on-pitch entertainment that his team provides during the match, His love for everyone with abominable pouts - Ronaldo, his dog and others.
Oh, humiliating Real Madrid again next season will be much much more sweeter.
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When you spend enormous amount of time on internet you stumble upon these. And, I am not complaining.