Nov 24, 2009

Of Animals,Colours,Rock & Roll,Drugs,Alice & Desire

Is it a coincidence that the two grooviest songs ever are named White Rabbit & Black Dog ?

Hey hey mama said the way you move,
Gonna make you sweat, gonna make you groove.

Nov 8, 2009

Importance of science in day to day life

The title of the post may sound like that of a 6th standard essay but believe you me , the post itself is much deeper and can have very positive effect on your life.
Somebody may ask why he needs to know why it rains or what we breathe - after all he is not the one who is searching for water on Moon or Mars ( and I keep coming back to water on Moon and Mars). Well, a very valid point except that you won't be a hit at the parties. You simply have to say that you are shocked that Large Hadron Collider stopped working because a bird dropped a piece of bread on it! Some poor soul may ask what actually Large Hadron Collider is and you just have to say that LHC is a frighteningly ambitious project - protons and stuff collide at high speeds and a big-bang kind of scenario is replicated. Some moron may even ask what actually big-bang scenario is - to this you just have to say - " You must be kidding, even India TV knows what a big-bang is" and that moron will be left visibly embarrassed. Finally, a drunk buffoon with a foolish smirk on his face would comment - if LHC is so advanced and all how can a fucking bird "dropping" make it stop? Here, you have to be careful enough to bring out your most contemptuous look and say - it's complicated... you won't understand. By the end of this statement everybody in the party will be in awe of you.
Science can have unlimited other benefits in your daily life - knowledge about global warming can help you win elections, knowledge about chemistry and chemicals and drugs can make you win tennis matches and what not.
Science can help you get ahead. Science can help you get away. I'll explain how but first a bit of diversion:

The Persons of the Play: Didier Drogba

Act 1:

Scene: A Football field.

Drogba comes charging in the penalty area , bulldozing his way through 3 defenders using sheer brute force.Oh Drogba, you animal!!

Act 2:

Scene: A Football field.

Drogba sensing that he has lost control of the ball due to the lack of skills/confidence/hard work brilliantly grabs the opportunity to fall down on the ground just because the lace of the left shoe of one of the defenders somehow manages to touch the lace of the right shoe of Drogba.

Act 3:

Scene: A Football field.

Drogba rolls on the ground holding his face. He seems to be in an unbelievable agony. Spectators are shocked. Stretcher arrives.

Final Act

Scene: A Football field.

Ending 1: Referee gives a penalty. Drogba gets up within a blink of an eyelid, takes the penalty and scores.

Alternate Ending ( more popular): Referee gives Drogba a yellow card for theatrics. Drogba has a look of sheer disbelief on his face. He is angry and he wants to show it. He hurls choicest of abuses on national television.

******************************The End*******************************************

Didier Drogba recently commented that he falls down so easily because he is very tall and his Centre of Gravity lies way above the ground unlike some midgets like Wayne Rooney. Applause , Sir Drogba. What scientific acumen!! While you are at it, you wouldn't mind explaining why an impact on your foot is so painful for your face...maybe a nerve connecting foot to the face.

I hope by now you have realized how science can help in your daily life. And the good thing is that you don't even need to be well read or anything . You can get away with almost anything. You can't prove/disprove anything in science just like religion or ghosts. If on a bad day you tell someone that you saw an apple rising up (as opposed to falling down) and the other person is laughing at you uncontrollably , you should first make the other person shut up and then say to himin an astonished tone - " Which century are you living in? Pluto is not even a planet now. You still believe in that Newtonian shit?"

Mind-boggling Science Fiction 3

Me to my personal Artificially Intelligent buddy, Rocket:  Rocket, can you do this calculation for me. What's 7 + 4? Rocket: Dude, d...