Aug 31, 2009

Kaminey Review

You don't become a Quentin Tarantino film by using some violence, foul language and cocaine. You need some engaging dialogue.

You don't become a Guy Ritchie film by having some gangsters who desperately try to act unique/cool/psychotic( but fail miserably at that). You need some humour and intelligent plot/twists.

You don't become a coming of age Bollywood film by having a kissing and condom searching scene.

I'll just say it without being diplomatic: Kaminey is a piece of crap. I slept twice during the movie and was awakened only by the loud and mediocre background score.

Aug 24, 2009

Ten best songs of the decade

I have spent a large part of the 2000s listening to the songs from 90s and 70s (ok 80s and 60s too), but I have caught up with time from time to time. And whatever I may normally proclaim, there has been plenty of awesome music this decade too. The title maybe a bit misleading(but only just) because I have taken only 1 song per band. Anyway here are the songs which you must listen to NOW( I can't stress enough how brilliant they are):

(again, in no paricular order)

1) Parting of the Sensory - Modest Mouse ( We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank)

Stairway to Heaven of the modern era.

2) How to Disappear Completely - Radiohead ( Kid A)

Oh, this was tough. Radiohead has released 4 albums in this decade. Yes, 4. But Kid A is special.

3) Can't Stop - Red Hot Chili Peppers( By the Way)

Cool lyrics,cool bass, cool intro, coolest video. A very very cool song.

4) Rebellion(Lies) - Arcade Fire( Funeral)

Who knew Canada could produce such musicians! This song is so beautiful that it's scary.

5) Fans - Kings of Leon( Because of the Times)

KOL can go on to become Led Zeppelin of this generation - they are so consistently brilliant, they have style and they rock. "Fans" - the song that got me hopelessly hooked to them.

6) I Never Came - Queens of the Stone Age( Lullabies to Paralyze)

Forget the music, forget the lyrics, just follow the voice. Well, a lesser known song from QOTSA, but this song just never leaves me.

7) Man of the Hour - Pearl Jam(Live at Benaroya Hall / Big Fish OST)

Pearl Jam has been rather disappoiniting in 2000s( considering how fucking awesome they were in 90s) but then, only they can produce such gems out of nowhere.

8) Lateralus - Tool(Lateralus)

You can either spend hours discussing spiritual and evolutionary connotations of this(or any other Tool song) like all those crazy Tool fans , or you can just rock out to this masterful song.

9) The Union Forever - The White Stripes( White Blood Cells)

Something about this song, probably the raw quality of it makes it irresistible.

10) The Way We Get By - Spoon( Kill the Moonlight)

I had to justify my earlier post on this blog.

Aug 18, 2009

Can we have more "total creativity" please?

Today I'll talk about this genre of sci-fi movies - (natural) disaster movies. Any disaster movie/book can be broken down into 5 distinct parts - 1) The Cause 2) The Primary Effect 3) The Secondary Effect 4) The Approach 5) The Solution. Almost all of the movies are very creative in the first two parts , but leave a lot to desire in the last two - especially the last one. I'll use and abuse 3 movies to prove my point.

Armageddon

Cause: Some asteroid gets naughty ( happens due to lack of parental control)

Primary Effect: It is on a collision course with earth. ( who wouldn't want to bang the earth!!)

Secondary Effect :It will create kilometer high waves, dust blanket and all the other cool things resulting in mass extinction, total annihilation or any apocalyptic phrase you might know. ( Are you kidding me? Oh my God!)

Approach - A bunch of people who drill holes will drill a hole in the damn thing. ( quite obviously)

Solution: NUKE THE BLOODY THING. ( Now we are being creative!)

Sunshine

Cause: Sun is infected with Q-ball( refer to the great google for greater details). Btw, this is never told in the movie, but is assumed to be a common knowledge - oh come on, who wouldn't know what a Q-ball is? ( Don't go out in the sun.Don't stare at the sun. Hell, at least Q-ball had the balls.)

Primary Effect: The sun will soon stop shining. ( Go on, I am all kicked. Perpetual Night Life and all!)

Secondary Effect: sun's death => earth's death ( Are you kidding me? Oh my God!)

Approach: Travel to the sun in a sexy spaceship with a sexy reflective shield which can never burn, which can never melt, which can never give up. ( only 6000 degree celsius. That's like insides of my oven)

Solution:NUKE THE BLOODY THING.( Holy shit. I could have never thought of that!)

The Core

Cause: A man induced earthquake. ( We have heard of this..haven't we)

Primary effect: Earth's core stops spinning. ( But we haven't heard of this!)

Secondary effect: Earth's electromagnetic layer gets all fucked up causing beautiful thunderstorms and giving free passage to the almighty UV rays which will result in, yes you guessed it- mass extinction. ( Are you kidding me? Oh my God!)

Approach: Fly inside the Earth in a laser guided rocket made of indestructible material quite amazingly named "unobtainium" in the movie! ( No space travel this.)

Solution: NUKE THE BLOODY THING.( I am getting goose bumps!)

So you have got the point. If you haven't - Nuking is the panacea. Someone may argue that nuking looked like the only logical solution in those cases. But why are we talking logic now? Who wants logic? Even I could have suggested some options(worthy of the extremely creative causes and effects) if they had paid me to write the script. It's like the writers got an idea but didn't want to work on it. It's like they loved to initiate it but got bored of it in the middle. It's like what Kurt Vonnegut has said ," “Another flaw in the human character is that everybody wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance.” ( maybe not a very apt quote but a quote nevertheless. Vonnegut one at that)

For a change , it would be great to see some movies with very normal causes and effects but very imaginative solutions. But that's always difficult, isn't it?

Aug 11, 2009

Gifting Ideas

One of my Wingies got married some days back. Rest of us dutifully chose a seemingly perfect gift after exchanging 100 emails or so. This time we have really outdone ourselves - yet again. To give you some background - it started with a camcorder ( Can you believe it? A camcorder! yuk), but it was the first one, so we can blame our lack of creativity on our lack of experience. Next one got a Playstation 3. Yeah, he is damn happy with it but his wife is not. The third one got an Apple TV( which is really cool) but not without lot of deliberation . Options like Treadmill ( which initially seemed a pretty cool idea but was rejected because we thought that it might give an impression that we think that they are unfit!) , Skiing & snowboarding kits, Home Theater System, Handheld GPS , even Telescope(:D) were discussed and discarded.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you - iRobot Roomba 500 series.
It's a vacuum cleaning robot with wireless command center, virtual lighthouses and what not. You just have to press the clean button and you can go out for a movie while Roomba cleans your whole house room by room, without getting stuck , without falling down. It automatically recharges if it runs out of energy and finally returns to its dock after finishing the cleaning! Ain't it hi-tech?
But the real clincher was not its utility or coolness or technology. The real clincher was the reviews like this : " Love my girl Rosie." OR " Roger is a family member now."

Check out the video : Roomba At Work

Aug 5, 2009

Possibilities

It could be what Jack the Ripper thought of his prospective victims.
It could be what Milky Way thinks of unruly earth.
It could be what a Biology geek thinks of a juicy frog(still alive) kept in the lab.
It could be what Gorbachev thought of Soviet Union.
It could be what a critic thinks of somebody's self respect.
It could be what Black Mamba thought of Bill (before deciding to use the boring 3-step technique)
It could be what Pink Floyd thought of that radio jockey who used to babble a lot.

"One of these days, I'm going to cut you into little pieces" - One of these days, Meddle.

Mind-boggling Science Fiction 3

Me to my personal Artificially Intelligent buddy, Rocket:  Rocket, can you do this calculation for me. What's 7 + 4? Rocket: Dude, d...