Mar 21, 2008

Megadeth and a Death

I was in Bangalore to see Megadeth. And I am extremely glad I was.
We were copiously drunk when we entered but were still sober enough to know what was going on around us ( which is FYI the perfect state to attend a rock concert - wild but conscious , eager to head bang but eager to pay attention to music ). Anyway we were surprised when there were just cursory security checks( like those at the shopping malls) unlike previous rock concerts ( I am not sure what the reason was. Whether authorities have understood that music fans should be set free or authorities have understood that no point wasting time - people still manage, or authorities have understood - the world would be a much better place without these crazy metal freaks, to hell with them , let them die.)
As soon as we entered the ground we understood the real reason ( or at least a part of the reason) for lack of security checks. For the first time in any international concert in Bangalore( probably in India) booze was being sold inside the arena!( thanks to Sir Vijay Mallya). And then people couldn't help cursing themselves for unnecessary having drank so much outside and taken so much of troubles ( like sore feet) for smuggling small whisky bottles inside. And well there was Bungee Jumping inside the arena !! and that too under lights... so there was the woodstock environment for you. ( Ironically most of the people were too stoned or too drunk to be that brave or that adventurous. On the other hand most of the people were too stoned and too drunk and hence too brave and too adventurous. My first thought was how much will I puke if I did jump.)
Anyway , frankly speaking I haven't heard much of Machine Head but they played really well and all the lightning in the sky played well too.
Megadeth was pure bliss.
Although only Dave Mustaine was there from their original lineup, but thats Dave Mustaine!
And what a setlist!!! They played the big four from rust in peace - holy wars, hangar 18, tornado of souls,take no prisoners, they played trust, they played symphony of destruction,they played a tout le monde, they played peace sells,they played in my darkest hour, and obviously they played some from their latest - United Abominations.They even played Mechanix/Four Horsemen ( Oh yes , it was Mustaine time Metallica).I couldn't have asked for more.
I have never seen a more educated crowd in a rock concert. Crowd sang each and every song word by word. It was a place where any real fan could belong.
Watch this if you don't believe me:

And we were in the 9th or 10th row from the stage ( thats a tremendous achievement when you consider 25000 to 30000 people , drunk, violent people.) There were several Mosh Pits ( I am not sure that I like the trend but its just a fallout) and we were standing beside one (didn't dare go inside it).

Fuck Mark Knopfler, Fuck Joe Satriani, Fuck Iron Maiden, Fuck Aerosmith , Fuck Bangalore authorities ( who'll keep the volume of live thrash metal songs less than those of lullabies) , Megadeth kicked ass!


Sir Arthur Charles Clarke ( 16.12.1917 - 19.3.2008)

Arthur C. Clarke was more concerned with the wonders of science and exploration and less with politics ,human behaviour ,character development and other mundane stuff (unlike Robert Heinlein ,Isaac Asimov,Philip Dick, Orson Scott and others). Thats why he was my favourite sci-fi author ( and unfortunately that was the reason why some people didn't like him).
I'll eagerly wait for the movie adaptation of Rendezvous with Rama ( to be directed by David Fincher). Its almost an impossible to be made into a movie kind of book, but then so was 2001.

Mar 11, 2008

My first post on a socially relevant issue...and probably last too.

I am sort of sick of people complaining about why there's so much money in Cricket in India and why ain't government and the big businessmen spending enough money on other sports.
First of all to those people who don't like cricket being too commercialized and big companies spending millions in IPL : YOU, stop being jealous and start selling your own beer. Then you can do whatever you want from your money.
And now to those people who think government and all the rich people should spend money on other sports too(like Hockey) and not cricket :
Some games are intrinsically boring and some are intrinsically interesting. Or let me put it this way, people of different countries / of different cultures/of different levels of average intelligence / of different levels of average inherent barbarism are intrinsically made to like some games or to intrinsically hate some game. Some people might even evolve to like different games in different periods of time.
So now tell me if no one in India wants to watch hockey is it government that is to be blamed? If no one will even recognize any national Hockey team player if he comes in some ad, why should any company spend money on them? Oh don't tell me they don't show enough hockey on TV , they show all the international matches, hell they even show PHL. Its just that you DON'T watch hockey matches.And you complain government gives crores to cricketers who won CB series and government doesn't give a penny to football players or hockey players after they win anything significant.Why should it? Government earns so much from cricket - tickets, tourism, taxes and what not..what does government earn from Hockey? Isn't everything return on investment. If only you would have spent hundreds to watch a Hockey match rather than spending thousands on watching a cricket match, Hockey players would have also got some booty from the government.Some of you socialists might rise up and say its not always return on investment for the government , its charity too!But then again, charity in cricket affects millions of people, charity in Hockey will affect what -10, at max 20 people? So where does charity make more sense?
There's this another argument that people put forward that unless you spend lot of money in Hockey, how will the game develop, how will we get a good team, and unless we get a good team which wins tournaments why will people follow hockey? Ok, so when was the last time Indian Hockey team won the Olympic Gold Medal - I think 1980.And when was the last time Indian cricket team won the world cup - 1983. Not much of a difference I say, but still you suckers keep on watching cricket day after day , year after year. WHY?And well England didn't even qualify for the Euro cup, still those suckers will keep on watching Football , no matter what. And if performance is the key factor , why don't people complain of government not investing enough money in Kabbaddi. India is a world beater in Kabbaddi!!! Then you'll say Kabbaddi is not a popular enough sport. But then how popular is Hockey. Or how popular is cricket? What 10, or say 20 countries play cricket, more than 300 countries play football. And performance ha! India is ranked 165 or something in Football , still more number of people watch football than hockey in India. Its not even important if India is playing or not.And sometimes you don't even need government backing for good performances.Its just the talent and interest. How much did the government spend on hockey facilities before India won all the gold medals in 1930s,40s and 50s?How much did Indian government spend on Chess before Vishwanathan Anand became world number 1?
Now we arrive at the basic question -is Hockey really so boring? Well, I don't know.Maybe its not glamorous enough, but then even cricket is not glamorous , only when all these players are selected for national teams and they start putting hair gel that the team look glamorous. Or is it too short a game. Is it that we Indians have too much time at hand and unless its complete 8 hours of entertainment, its not paisa wasool.There can be many reasons, but the fact remains not many people watch hockey in India.
Finally your desperate attempt: Hockey is the national game after all .But then as I said, tastes of people evolve, once upon a time people used to like hockey, now they like cricket. As simple as that.Government may decide now that Hockey no longer deserves to be the national game and they make Cricket the national game. But you never know, after all these ICLs , IPLs and what not people might get bored of cricket too, and government may have to make football the national game after 20 years.
Don't you understand that this Hockey vs Cricket argument is as futile as saying why don't big production companies produce movies based on Cannibalism and why do they spend so much money on romantic movies?Or why does government spend so much money on development of tourism in Goa and why not in Jhumritalaya. So what if Goa has beautiful beaches and no one wants to go to Jhumritalaya?
Well nothing against other games.I personally like football much much more than cricket, but there has to be a disparity(determined by market forces) in government spends!

Mar 6, 2008

Van Der Merwe

Today I got this brilliant forward again in my Yahoo mail and while I was getting irritated with the world this made my day. I had read this few years back. And in all these years and among infinite number of forwarded jokes,poems,stories,pictures,songs I have received, this one remains- and by far - the best forward I have ever received.
And I don't mean to infringe any copyright laws but people please bow down to the genius of
The Private Eye - Van der Merwe

But first a Warning.

Restricted : High level bone-chilling Thrill, blood-curdling Violence and hair-raising Sexual innuendos( I have copied this from the amazing warning on this Pulp Fiction DVD I have : Restricted: High level coarse language,medium level violence and drug use.)

Anyway, hold your breath,here it is:

The Private Eye - Van der Merwe

(With that low monotonous Detective voice)

I was sitting in my office when a case came in.
So I finished two bottles from it.

I was tough, so tough I wore my clothes out from the

Suddenly a tall blonde walked past my window.
I knew she was tall because I was on the second floor.

The phone rang and I knew something was wrong.
I didn't have a phone.

It was a girl and she was in trouble. I knew she was,
'cause she said so.

I raced down the stairs and called a cab. The cab
stopped with a jerk.
Then the jerk got out and I got in.

We took the corner at hundred kilometres per hour, but
a cop stopped us and told us to put the corner back.

We kept on the pavement, because there was a sign that
said:"Keep Death Off Our Roads".

Then we were out of the city. I knew it, because we
were not hitting so many pedestrians.

As we came to her house, she greeted me with a burning
Then she Took the cigarette out and kissed me again.

She pointed two thirty-eights at me. She also had a

She had the most beautiful blonde hair I have ever
seen - hanging from her left nostril.

She had teeth like the ten commandments - all broken.

She also had the most beautiful eyes - so beautiful
that the one eye could not stop looking at the other

There was a man on the floor. He had stab wounds in
his heart, bullet wounds in his head and his wrists
were slashed.
He was dead.

I said: "Lady, if this man was alive, he sure would be

So I took her for a drive to calm her nerves.

Suddenly a brick came flying through the window and
hit her on the left breast - breaking three of my

We had a flat tyre, so I pumped and she pumped and I
pumped. Then we got out and fixed the flat tyre.

Then I took her home and as I was kissing her
goodnight, her father opened the door and stepped on
my back, almost breaking it.

As I was giving her a final good-night kiss, she
closed her legs and broke my nose.

Now I am more careful on my assignments

So which is your favorite line of the story,eh?
I obviously don't read the forwards these days as religiously as i used to and anyway nowadays I find most of them irritating. But then I find lot of stuff irritating these days. And then I wonder Is it me or the world actually has become more irritating?

Take for example this Airtel ad which bombards my TV screen at a frequency of twice every minute,in which two boys play football and this person talks about talking and barriers breaking . Dudes , an advice: Sell your goddamn SIM cards and stop worrying about world peace.It was nice when you started this noble series of ads some years ago but enough is enough. Moreover,this ad is not even shot properly; I can bet millions that the ball which the boy kicked wouldn't cross the fence. So there's the irony : YOU can't even shoot the bloody ad properly and YOU talk of world peace?Take a cue from Hutch.When they thought that the goddamn dog and the goddamn kid had started getting on to the nerves of people they sold themselves to Vodafone and good that the Vodafone asked the goddamn dog and the goddamn kid to fuck off.

Or the way all commentators,news readers, and common people refer to Indian cricket team as Team India! What's more scary is that this "Team" trend is catching up!!Yesterday only, I saw a home delivery guy of this Chinese Restaurant chain - Yo China -wearing a T-shirt which proudly displayed " Team Yo China!".
What now,they'll display a board of "Team Dead" outside the graveyard? Get a life people.

Nowadays they can't even use "la" properly in the songs.
Remember Don't You Forget About Me ( Simple Minds) - Oh my favorite 80s pop song!
It was la, that made the song legendary: " laaaaaa laalalalaa laalalalaa laalaalalaaaa lalaaaaa"
or even Marilyn Manson's Rock is dead ( what a n enlightening use of la it was!!)
Where has the beauty of "la" gone?

Mind-boggling Science Fiction 3

Me to my personal Artificially Intelligent buddy, Rocket:  Rocket, can you do this calculation for me. What's 7 + 4? Rocket: Dude, d...