Feb 3, 2008

Living on the edge

Recently when I visited a friend in hospital ( he has broken some bones) , I realized that I never feel out of place or awkward in a hospital. Not that I like visiting hospitals , but its like a visit to any other not so desirable place, say the mess of my erstwhile hostel in Kharagpur. And there's a reason for that .I have been quite literally living my life on the edge ( intentionally or unintentionally).How much my friends might fail to believe, its a truth that I used to lead quite an active lifestyle in my childhood. Come to think of it I have received injuries in every possible place and at every possible place. I have fallen down from stairs - twice and resultantly got my head stitched - twice (once i almost lost my eye). Not to mention those usual falls from the cycles and two-wheelers. Oh and then there have been really freak incidents which might inspire David Lynch.Like this one, on Diwali, when I was standing as far as one can stand after lighting a bomb. And well absolutely no problem with fire or sound, but something flew and hit my forehead and I came to know about it only when i felt the streak of blood ( believe me it was that painless).And yes you guessed it, I received two stitches on my forehead.I have broken bones too.Once while playing cricket, when inspired by Jonty Rhodes, I tried to grab a ball traveling at the speed just below that of sound , and my poor index finger had to bear the brunt of this extreme enthusiasm.
And then obviously this relatively recent one when I broke both Tibia and Fibula of my right leg (Ask me anything about human skeletal system. I am the Master. Ok ,of at least the lower right hand side part). This happened after I fell(flew) down from a bicycle in god knows what spidermanly manner. Believe me there is not a sight more disgusting and scary than watching your right leg barely hanging at an angle of 70 degrees( from the usual position) with a bone almost protruding out. And though it is damn painful, pain is the last thing you are worrying about then.
Now here you have to understand , I am no Samuel L. Jackson from Unbreakable but I am no Bruce Willis either.
All the above incidents have more or less been my own doing.But then, tell me how do you control diseases and fevers and what not.As a kid, I have seen 105 degree fevers and I have seen fevers with absolutely undecipherable sources. I have had syringes inserted on my butt and on my arm countless number of times. Oh imagine a child, say 8-9 years old sitting in a clinic. Nurses are trying to be their motherly/sisterly best talking about Sachin Tendulkar and Madhuri Dixit , trying to divert his attention from the fast approaching syringe. And well the child is thinking, don't act stupid and insert the goddamn thing fast, I have to go home and watch my favourite TV show.That child was me.
Oh and talking about freaky things again. On this one, even Stephen King would be proud. Both of my wisdom teeth were absolutely horizontal (talk about my crooked wisdom). And well the dentist had to hammer them one by one( literally, yes with a hammer) for 1 hour each to get them out ( and well the experience even with anaesthesia, was dreadful) and the pain which lasted for 3-4 days after that is the most I have ever experienced for such a long stretch.
Surprisingly I have never been a victim of more common things like Jaundice or Cavities.

But then, does all the above mentioned stuff justify the title of the post? Probably not. But then I have to add the stuff which I did intentionally. Like all my exciting drunken adventures. I'll write about them someday when I am drunk. Or even non-drunken ones. Like this one when I was pissing inside a tunnel ( midway of the tunnel).And then suddenly a train appeared from nowhere , like a rabbit out of the hat, like a gush of wind , like a zombie in 28 days later, like a moorhiwaala in a Calcutta local train, like this unfortunate attempt at humour in an otherwise drab post. Anyway, I realized then that the tunnel wasn't exactly wide and there was absolutely no space to provide the train a safe passage ( I tell you these gults are crazy, this tunnel was in Vizag). For an athletic person it wasn't much of a problem , he could easily beat the train and come out of the tunnel safely. For limping me ( this incident was only some months after my fracture) , it was a matter of life and death.I somehow managed.Thank God.

And then, I still like Marilyn Manson (I used to worship him,well his music, few years back) and ask anybody, anyone who likes Marilyn Manson is indeed living on the edge. Finally look at my job which evokes such kind of response from other people :" ... its a wonderful thing you are doing for sports.So what's your full time job?"
Do I need to say anything else?


Joke of the Month(and its not even a joke) : Harbhajan says that I said "teri maa ki.." to Symonds which might have sounded like"Monkey" to him. Oh come on, I don't understand how could have the NDTV newsreader said this with a straight face!

Megadeth is coming to Bangalore. I might not enjoy it as much as I would have few years back but still Dave Mustaine remains one of the best guitarist ever, Holy Wars remains one of the best metal songs ever,Hangar 18 remains one of the best guitar songs ever, Tornado of Souls remains one of the catchiest metal songs ever,Rust in Peace remains one of the best albums ever.



Vimal said...

The tunnel thing was simply too good (ROFL). You really have lived on the edge. No doubt about that :)

Shreyan said...

O great soul ... kindly accept the humble offering of my olecronon and ulna to give company to ur tibia and fibula :)...

Manan said...

Vimal it sounds funny now..but believe me it wasn't funny then!!!!

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