Apr 30, 2007

B.A.N.G.A.L.O.R.E ( no its not an acronym...its the name of a city...dots were just to confuse you)

My first two weeks in Bangalore have been quite eventful...and well most of it was occupied by the search..search for a home.... a decent affordable place not so far away from civilization but as far as possible from the landlord/owner ( in fact we were forthright enough to ask the owners , " sir will you or your kids have any problems if we drink beer sitting outside in the balcony on a breezy saturday night(or for that matter any night) ?"So finally we got a decent flat in NGV ( National Games Village) . Its an apartment complex with all those perks ... gardens,swimming pool, tennis courts ,indoor baddy courts,basketball courts, and good looking females ( although you have to pay extra for all of them.. no i didnt mean them you cheap fuckers). And finally .. finally i can play TENNIS!!!!!!!!
NGV , especially our block has one major drawback.Its proximity to the airport. Every 10 minutes or so we have a big Boeing screaming 10 inches above our head ( and mind you I have exaggerated only exactly 10 times). People here say you'll get used to it but i swear to you.. its not safe.. ITS NOT SAFE. In fact you can die in 4 different and equally chilling ways :

  1. First one is obviously a crash right through our building. ( you can do the math and find out the probability .. i am telling you it will come out to be a pretty neat number)
  2. NGV is a pretty old complex and is not exactly known for its architectural brilliance. So anyday when a plane passes on top of our building in its full glory , our house can shake and tumble down like a pack of cards.(.. but then i take solace in Howrah Bridge which has withstood 100 times the traffic( and weight) which it was meant for , for years and still not given up!)
  3. This one seems to be the most likely . Imagine you are having a nightmare where you are on an unstable plane that is about to crash.. and all those oxygen masks, people screaming and puking and fainting ...and suddenly you wake up to a thunderous noise of an airplane above your head ..you'll sure get a heart-attack.
  4. How can we forget our Al-Qaeda friends who might just one day decide to choose not Empire State Building, not Petronas Towers, not BSE but our very own NGV for their next mission.One might ask why NGV?? Well there can be several reasons... one that it is near to the airport so not much trouble holding up the hijacked passengers or they might want to surprise the world or just a foolish step ( I am not sure if Al Qaeda ppl are known for their high IQ ....and there one more reason.. i just pissed Osama Bin Laden)
..and now that I am talking about my stay in Bangalore I have to mention the PUBS.... yeah i've been to the new Purple Haze in Koramangla.Its good.. its 4 times more spacious than the old one.. but that doesn't mean that I'll stop going to the Residency Road.Last Saturday I went to some other rock Pub and when I heard huge roars for Where did you sleep last night ( Nirvana)
and Otherside( RHCP ) but not even a whimper for Black(Pearl Jam) I thought that I have to go to US or Europe soon to fulfill my dream of watching Pearl Jam live before all of them turn 60.
And did i forget to tell you the best "original" CD/DVD rental shop of India is right next to my house .. it has a huge collection sorted by genres..sorted by directors.. sorted by language!! and i'll soon watch the two Kubrick movies which I havent seen ( The Killing and Barry Lyndon ).

PS : I go for work too.Everyday.
PPS : All autorickshaw drivers in Bangalore are *BEEP* ( i'll maintain the sanctity of the blog)


Anonymous said...

"maintain the sanctity of the blog"
: rotflmao

Anonymous said...

u lucky fuck !! i am gonna die of ENVY !!

Bishweshwar said...

thats pretty fucking close to my house (ejipura)......if both engines fail u die, if the right engine fails before touchdown...it veers and i die. Anyways nice going through blog. Even i like vonnegut. HAve u read ,'Breakfast of champions' ? Lets meet up over beer sometimes and carry the discourse forward.

Shayan said...

Nice!!!!! anytime you're looking for a flatmate contact me.....i live in 4th block koramangala

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