Dec 21, 2007

A longish football update

First things first.December 23 it is ; when Barca will kick Real's ass with or without Messi. Oh how relieved all Real Madrid supporters would be(remember last year's Messi hat trick?)But alas, King Eto'o is back so all the Real supporters have got another excuse to piss in their pants.
Henry was always redundant in this Barca lineup and now that he is playing not so fabulously there is not much thinking required.And I hate to say this but Gudjohnsen is playing much better and is more useful than Henry.Well, looking at the current developments it seems Ronaldinho will also start on bench.This is nothing short of unbelievable that an 18 year old Mexican is given preference over (The Great)Ronaldinho and a 17 year old Spaniard over (The Great)Henry;but thats Barcelona for you.By the way, Real Madrid is no pushover.It has a whole lot of scary new players and rejuvenated older players.As always there is tremendous amount of hype surrounding "El Clasico" , but this is one match that never fails to deliver.

This is the draw for the Champions League first knockout stage.Well there are some really close fixtures but I am generally pretty good at predictions :) All the teams that will win are on the left hand side.

Barcelona - Celtic
Barcelona doesn't have a very good record against Celtic....but come on, Celtic??..huh??

Real Madrid- Roma
This is really tough, but I think after 3-4 years of poor performances in UCL Real Madrid will live up to its name.

Porto - Schalke

Porto is in a good form.

Chelsea - Olympiacos
Chelsea is still good enough( that is if Drogba stays)

Inter Milan - Liverpool

I will go with Inter.They are in red hot form. They have some great young players and when Ibrahimovic is in mood( he is sort of moody) , he is probably the best striker in the world.Liverpool have been outdoing themselves for last few years in UCL but how long?

Man Utd - Lyon

Lyon will again under perform.And well ManU is playing good. One thing I fail to understand is how come Lyon provides at least 3-4 world class players to other big clubs every goddamn year and still don't perform well enough in UCL.They'll always remain underdogs.

Sevilla- Fenerbahce

Sevilla is just too good.Even with their dodgy league form they are just too classy.No surprise they finished ahead of hot shot Arsenal in the group stages.

Arsenal - AC Milan
This is the most difficult call.Even Milan might be too tired of performing so well at the European stage every year.And Arsenal and Wenger might be just too keen to win this.Even the world footballer of the year might not be able to save Milan.

Euro 2008 draw was also held some days back.Whats with France and Italy they can't seem to live without each other.Add Netherlands and Romania with them and you get the group of death. I think Netherlands will be sacrificed(I always find them overrated).
Spain's group is also no easy one. Sweden ,Greece and Russia with Spain. I feel the defending Champion and the England killer will be knocked out and Spain-Sweden will go through.Did I tell you that this is the last time I am giving Spain a chance to live up to their potential. If they fail to reach even the semis I am through with them :)

Dec 1, 2007

Well settled in Navi Mumbai....well almost

Yippeee! I got internet connection at home today ! Well its an altogether different matter that I don't have any source of drinking water , any source of food or any clean clothes to wear at home yet ( oh I have a washing machine ....but I guess, writing a post on your blog is much more interesting and much less grueling than washing your clothes in a semi-automatic BPL washing machine) .
Oh, my house is decent.It could have been better if my sweet landlord aunty would have told me few things earlier or if I had taken pains to inquire a bit more.For example she told me later,that the geyser is connected to the direct water supply and I can get hot water only from 6-8 in the morning or 6-8 in the evening. And then she says , its not a big deal, you'll anyway get up for office before 8 and also you have the gas connection and also you don't require hot water in Bombay. And then I say aunty you are so good at making assumptions.Then there is this another example , when I ask her to re-paint one of the rooms because the paint has worn off; and she told me yes yes no problems, only that paint will again wear off in the rains when the water seeps in at will through the walls of the room.Oh sometimes even small pool builds up in the room , where you can float your paper boats.And then she says , its not a big deal , it won't rain as much as it rained last year and also you must love paper boats and anyway you won't be staying here till the rainy season, will you?And then I say, aunty you are so good at making assumptions. And then she says , I am generally very considerate. And then I wonder what the fuck should I say to her!
The main concern now is Football ( I mean TV ) and well yes also drinking water, food and clean clothes.

Nov 21, 2007

I'll miss Bangalore

I'll miss

Purple Haze 1, Tavern,LOR,Pecos,Styx,Maya,Opus,Le Rock,I Bar,Amnesia, Athena,Guzzlers, Beach, Madira,Stones,Mojos,Unwind Island,Purple Haze 2,13th floor and well others.

But I don't want to sound like a drunkard

I'll also miss

Coffee Day 1,Coffee Day 2,Coffee Day3,Coffee Day 4, Barista1, Barista 2 , Barista 3,Java City, Brew-ha-ha,Sweet Chariot Cafe,Infinitea and well others.

But I don't want to sound like a caffeine addict.

I'll also miss

Angeethi,Queens,Casa Piccola,Casa Del Sol,Chung Wah,Coconut Grove,RR,Tandoor, Paramount, Empire,Rendezvous,Mast Kalandar,Koshy's,Only Place,Coast to Coast,Millers 46,Ice and Spice, Corner House,Barbeque Nation,Herbs and Spices,India Gate,TGIF and well others.

But I don't want to sound like a food junkie.
But I can't help it.What else do you do?You either drink or you eat in Bangalore ( or for that matter any city)

Anyway,
I'll also miss

Tennis Courts, the Football ground,the Original DVD rental shop, the Pirated DVD rental shop, Gym ,Swimming Pool,Rangashankara, Chowdiah Memorial Hall,Alliance Francaise and
THE PALACE GROUNDS(I'll be back for the next Pearl Jam/RHCP/Dream Theater/ Megadeth /Metallica show).

And I'll also miss

the car drives, the weather,the people......

But I don't want to sound like a poet.
I'll leave that to Robert Plant.

............
California sunlight, sweet Calcutta rain
Honolulu starbright - the song remains the same.

Sing out Hare Hare, dance the Hoochie Koo.
City lights are oh so bright, as we go sliding... sliding... sliding through.

(Led Zeppelin- The song remains the same)

PS1: No no, I am not going on a world tour.I am just shifting to Bombay.
PS2:No no, not the Playstation 2.
PS3:I am not sure whether the song was very apt for this post...but what the hell, Zeppelin was on , on my Winamp.
PS4: the PS2 joke was bad. I know.

Nov 15, 2007

Picture these

When you spend enormous amount of time on internet you stumble upon these. And, I am not complaining.

Lets choose some better topic if we are so keen on debating

For a minute forget all your biases :

Argentina Vs Brazil
Maradona Vs Pele
FC Barcelona Vs Real Madrid
Catalans Vs Castillans
White Vs Black
Maroon Vs White
Blue Vs Yellow
Stripes Vs Plain
19 Vs 10
Right Vs Left
Nike Vs Adidas
Just past adolescence Vs Just attained adulthood

And watch objectively.
Robinho is one of the best, but Messi is the best.
But thanks to both of them, Saturday and Sunday late nights on ESPN/Star Sports are supremely entertaining.

Oct 26, 2007

Anticipation.


I don't remember, when was the last time I waited so eagerly for any movie.

That it is written-directed by Coen brothers is obviously a big factor.Oh I have loved almost all of their movies - The Big Lebowski,Miller's Crossing,Raising Arizona,Barton Fink,O Brother where art thou ? etc - although their most acclaimed Fargo is the one which I find grossly overrated.
That it will be visually stunning is not even a question.( Look at the list of movies I have written above for God's Sake).And it is based on supposedly great Cormac McCarthy's novel.

But more importantly, the trailer. THE TRAILER. It won't be an exaggeration if I say that it is one of the best trailer I have ever seen.Ok I don't know why. Nowdays almost all movies have brilliant trailers, where they show the best scenes/cuts from the movie and finally when you watch the movie, you come to know that those were the only scenes watchable.
But this one is different. It is dark.It is wicked. And it forewarns you what to expect of the movie.And boy, does Javier Bardem look chilling as the bad guy.I mean really chilling. Javier Bardem has this"Hey, look I am so psycho" look or lack of look on his face.And well they reaffirm my feelings about him in the trailer, when they are discussing him: "Just how dangerous is he?" "Compared to what.......bubonic plague?"

Watch the trailer here: TRAILER
Don't blame me, if you choke upon the trailer.I almost did.

Another movie which I am looking forward to see ( obviously not as much as the one above) is Into the Wild.
It has an intriguing storyline. And the wonderfully mellow soundtrack , where all the songs are done solely by Eddie Vedder(obviously I already have the soundtrack ).

Watch the song Hard Sun from the movie here : Hard Sun

PS: Watched Shoot em Up today on big screen.Imagine cheesy.Imagine gross. And I mean , really, really test your imagination.And then you'll be hugely surprised when you watch the movie.Whether positively or negatively depends purely on your taste.If you can watch a single person killing atleast 200-250 people ( and yes its not a bomb blast,where BOOM, and 100 people are dead.He kills them one by one) and you can enjoy dialogues like this :

"Well I was just remembering a limmerick. There once was a woman who was quite begat. She had three babies named Nat, Pat, and Tat. She said it was fun in the breeding, but found it was hell in the feeding when she saw there was no tit for Tat. You have caused me no end of trouble, but now I shall return the favor. Tit for Tat, right?"

or
this
"You want to know the difference between this luxury car and a porcupine?
With the car, the prick's on the inside. "

then you are in for a treat! Else please don't watch.

Oct 18, 2007

Rock n Roll is still rebellious


You can't imagine how sad I feel when I download music from internet.And when that music belongs to the Gods like Radiohead the guilt is just too much for me to handle.And so I am forced to buy their CDs from time to time even if I already have their high quality mp3s on my comp ( just to wash away some of my sins). Oh yeah, 192-320 kbps is good enough quality for me , even though I can make out a distinct difference between a mp3 and a CD sound.

Mind you , I don't use the term "God" very liberally.Apart from Radiohead , I have used it only for Pearl Jam and Pink Floyd.And in other fields,say sports, I have used it for Zidane and Ronaldinho and now I use it for Messi.I have used it for Federer too. While Federer's God-dom looks challenged by a 20 yr old dude from Serbia who can imitate Sharapova better than Sharapova( don't tell me you haven't seen his videos); Messi it seems, won't have any competition for some years.Obviously this conclusion is contingent upon some assumptions like :
1) Other lesser football players won't take out their frustration of their wives' infidelity on poor boy's shin.

2)Messi won't become fat due to drinking and over eating or would not be involved in other controversial stuff like rape charges ( like other famous dudes from Argentina). This ain't a very improbable assumption, considering that Messi is a mama's boy who sleeps at 9'o clock every night.But then it doesn't take much time for a mama's boy to grow up.

And my habit of deviating from the topic............

Coming back to Music , coming back to musical Gods. While Pink Floyd has stopped producing any new music and Pearl Jam's last two albums were mediocre to say the least , Radiohead just won't let go of its genius.And I thought after Hail to the Thief , enough is enough ( just how long can a band keep on producing amazing stuff. Even if all the other tracks were rotten, I would still rate Hail to the Thief 5/5 just for one "Where I end and you begin" . And surprise, surprise other tracks were also classics). But well its Radiohead, and their latest album "In Rainbows", might not be as brilliant as Kid A, Bends, Ok Computer or even Hail to the Thief , its still a Radiohead album. Any other band would die happily the day it produces an album like this.
But this post was not meant to be a review of In rainbows.
Whenever Radiohead is about to release any album, there is an unbelievabale amount of buzz in whole world.And well, when Radiohead decides to release an album which you can download( even for free) from their own website you can imagine how much crazy millions of people will go.
Their contract with EMI expired few years ago and boy did they pull off some stunt!Its as simple as it gets , you go to their site www.radiohead.com , where they say its upto you how much money you want to pay to download their album , and yes you can enter zero also. If you are a bit suspicious you can click at the "?" mark and then they'll say: "No Really. Its upto You."And obviously since its readily available on their site, its readily available on numerous other sites from which you can download ( if you don't even want to enter your credit card number).

No prize for guessing, who is pissing in their pants- the record labels.But rock bands have always had this burden to rebel against the authority, haven't they? Now you tell me who deserves the Nobel Peace Prize - Al Gore ( no disrespect to An Inconvenient Truth) or Radiohead for spreading peace and unity through their freely distributed music?
Not that Radiohead is very philanthropic or anything.They released their album on 10th October and more than 1.2 million people downloaded the album from their official website on the same day ( obviously they had pre-ordered the album).If this number is not mind-boggling enough, the average amount that their fans paid for their album was 4 pounds or $ 8.1 !! So that makes it an earnings of more than 9 million dollars on the first day itself! (and this time there is no fucking middleman.)
What the Fuck?
And this is not all, Radiohead will definitely sell a lot of their conventional CDs when they come out early next year.As Jonny Greenwood puts it very candidly - ".......people will listen to our new album and if they like they'll definitely buy the CDs where they'll get the better sound quality"
Maybe thats why they have kept the bitrate of mp3s to 160kbps.. (which infact has infuriated many of their fans....bloody people. what more do they want for free? Now even 160kbps is not good enough for you? what about iTunes?what about old Kazaa and Napster days where you could get only 128 kbps?).
So Radiohead might actually end up earning much more than what would they have done if they had released it conventionally, plus they have made millions of new fans. They have become the Robin Hood of music industry.Radiohead is not the first band to do something like this, but they definitely did it in style and obviously their already huge fanbase helped .
Many other bands will follow suit, but I am not sure how much money will a less famous band make out of this marketing scheme.
Whatever may happen in the future , most important thing is that I won't ever have to be shamefaced when I download music from the net . :)

Oct 4, 2007

Thailand

Here's the account of my first overseas trip! Well sadly though,downside to such an amazing trip is the feeling of having wasted 25 years of my life.I ought to travel much more!

Nok Air is a low cost no frills airline from Thailand, and be warned, its much worse than the worst airline by which you have ever traveled in India.But I guess it doesn't matter when you just have to go there and sleep for 4 hours until you reach your destination.Its a different matter that we all were shit scared when we read the news of some low cost airplane crashing in Phuket and killing all passengers(most of which were tourists) just days before our travel.And Nok Air's funny looking orange,pink,red,green (supposedly cheerful )planes didn't help mitigate the fear.

Tip:All those planning to go to Thailand please go as soon as possible. Looking at the way number of Desi tourists are increasing, Thailand will stop treating you like foreigners soon.And believe me, you don't have much time left.If you want more proof,Nok Air operates on only one international route : Bangkok to Bangalore!

Anyway we reached Bangkok safely.First thing that you see is the grand, beautiful airport!The number of people might be same or even more than a Delhi or Bbay airport, but you don't feel it coz of the sheer size.We had planned to go directly to Pattaya from the airport ( almost a 2 hrs drive). We almost changed our itinerary when we came to know that last two days of Thai Open were in progress with likes of Nadal, Djokovic, Roddick and Ana Ivanovic taking part.Anyway we stuck to our plan because we were not sure of the availability of the tickets and more importantly because nobody could fucking understand English.

Second thing you notice about Thailand is that only females work there! Every showroom, fast food joint,restaurant, hotel, barbershop, medical shop , departmental store has only women employees!What the fuck!? Is it that male/female ratio is extremely skewed .If thats the case I wonder what could be the reason.Was Thailand extremely active in World War 2 , or they had some Pol Potic despot who killed only men or they practise Male infanticide.
Internet confirms that sex ratio is indeed 97/100 and it states the reason as higher life expectancy of females!But come on, even with 0.97 male for every female you gotto see some men working!I think all the men there either drive taxis , play adventure sports or sleep at home( what a life!).

Before I go further with the trip here are some widely held myths about Thailand :
Myth 1:
Thailand is dirt cheap and your travelling cost is only the air ticket.
Truth: Thailand is as expensive( if not more) as India.Ok very high end hotels are cheaper in Thailand but you are anyway not going to stay in those.

Myth 2: You get all sorts of cockroaches, snakes, dogs,earthworms,butterflies and other exotic things to eat in every corner of Thailand.
Truth:We didn't see any snakes or dogs being served in any restaurant. Cockroaches were sold only on roadside shops, but they looked too .. ahem... unhygienic.But I did eat all possible seafood ...oysters,squids, shrimps and fishes!

Bangkok to Pattaya was a smooth 120-130 kmph Camry ride on awesome highway. Thailand has a potential to shock you in every conceivable way.Seriously.Believe me you'll get the feeling of having seen it all after a trip to Thailand.
You must have done this "Height thing" a lot when you were kid.
Much like:
Height of Coincidence: A husband and a wife were married on the same day!
or Height of Minuteness: A pimple on the dimple on the right cheek of an amoeba!
or Height of Heights: Shitting on Mt Everest to make it an inch higher!

Here are two more for you:
Height of Hypocrisy: Public display of affection and nudity is prohibited in Thailand.
Height of Irony: Bands like RHCP, Megadeth, Oasis, Arctic Monkeys,Metallica, Strokes, Placebo tour Thailand very regularly and nobody understands English there!! But then ,as they say Music has no language.

We had an amazing time visting beaches ,speed boating to Ko-Lan island ( where i ate the best/first fish of my life) and underwater diving- Walking on the ocean floor and feeling(ahem) various sea animals was a good experience.The bodyguards had developed a very efficient underwater sign language where they clearly instructed us as to poking which body part of a particular animal will result in being bitten and poking which other body part of the same animal will be a pleasurable experience for you and for it.
Then there was other stuff like Ripley's Believe it or Not Museum! And well obviously you must have heard a lot about the "night life" of Pattaya, but I'll keep the sleazy details out of the this blog(you can read it all over internet, if you are that curious).
The best thing about Pattaya was its Hard Rock Cafe.Ok, as far as ambience and acoustics go , they were pretty impressive, but then in Bangalore I have seen better.But its in-house band (from Phillipines) was simply awesome!They were basically 5 dudes and 1 dudette. And all ..yes all of them could sing..and sing well. AND PLAY WELL.So what happens when you have six different kinds of high quality singers , you get to listen to breathtaking variety of songs. They played everything from Elvis Presley and Chuck Berry to RHCP and Nirvana.The girl even sang Shakira and well it was enjoyable especially with she and many other American females around us showing latino moves.Believe me I have never heard a band do a cover of Bohemian Rhapsody in its enirety and I have never EVER heard a better guitar solo live ( Freebird!!).
The disadvantage of such a good band playing infront of you is that you stay in the cafe from 9.30 P.M. to 2.30A.M. ( yes ! they played till 2.30!! ) and end up spending a bomb( No matter how sexy the waitresses were, they were still pain in the asses ...sir woood u like to eat something ..sir you woant anatha beeeaa...sir we have offa on Heineken... basically you have to order). However,they didn't disturb us much when we went there again next night(yes we went again!!) .
I donno why they opened Hard Rock Cafe in Bbay coz Bangalore is the perfect destination. But then Hard Rock Cafe Pattaya will still be different.Ok picture this:

Hard Rock Cafe Pattaya: Chilled out crowd, chilled out environment,chilled out band,chilled out waitresses and waiters, people dancing and enjoying themselves,everything chilled out..ok except that some transvestite might pester you to dance with her/him, music playing till 3-4 ..whole night.

Hard Rock Cafe Bangalore( which I believe will open by the end of this year): 1000 rupess cover charges,Saturday/Sunday Couple entry, no space to sit if you enter anytime after 7.30 P.M., no space to stand if you enter anytime after 9 P.M. , waiters with ridiculous attitude, band( not even half as talented) with ridiculous attitude,last order at 10.30 P.M., music off at 11 P.M., police entering and pushing people out at 11.20 P.M.

Oh shit, I forgot that this post is not about Hard Rock Cafe, nor its about Bangalore( India) bashing.
Bangkok is like Delhi with its amazing roads and infrastrucure(actually much better than delhi), its like Bombay with its traffic jams(actually even worse than Bbay), and its like Bangalore with its tuk-tuks or autos ( actually much much lesser in number than Bangalore).Oh yes there is skytrain which is much like Delhi's metro, only its over the ground.In Bangkok we behaved like regular tourists, visiting palaces and monasteries.We even took a boat ride in a river that went through the city( a poor man's version of Venice).

Fact 1: Toyota holds more than 90% of the Thai 4-wheeler market. This conculsion is based purely on observation and no secondary research was done.

The malls in Bangkok are MASSIVE...take Forum, which is the biggest mall in Bangalore , multiply it by 10 and you get Siam Paragon/Siam Centre.And they are really posh too.To give you an example a whole floor of Siam Paragon contained only cars..and what cars! We had our photo sessions with all the beauties -Porsche,Ferrari,Lamborghini, Masseratti,Jaguar,BMW, Bentley and what not!!
I wonder where Thai people get all that money. I see them involved in only two professions: Tourism or Idolizing their king.Many websites warned us not to utter a word about their king or else we might get severely beaten.But then Indians are Indians (sorry for generalising) ...we got our kicks by abusing the king in Hindi infront of Thai people(akin Raja C*****). Actually abusing the king in English also wouldn't have caused any problems... but there some amount of risk is involved ( Oh come on you know the general rule.. no matter how fucked up anybody's language vocabulary may be there is a high probability that he knows all the swear words. Take me for example... I can swear in Telugu,Tamil,Bengali,Spanish,French,German and probably Thai)

One of the best things to do in Siam Paragon is Karaoke..and its different than anything you have seen in India. You get a whole room fitted with amazing speakers, LCD T.V.,Karaoke software, amplifiers, microphones, a cool collection of songs and obviously beer. Then you don't have to worry about people booing you or laughing at you. You know that you are in the company of equally pathetic singers( i mean you friends) and you can let go.Well then there was nothing stopping us from singing Hey Jude or We didn't start the fire or Bohemian Rhapsody or even My Humps (:D).
We did some cheap T-shirt shopping after vehement bargaining(or so we think) and got good deals(or so we think).
Finally I can't stop myself from describing the incident which happened on my return flight( same old Nok air where all announcements were made in Thai and some announcements were made in English which was as good as Thai).Anyway my fellow Indian passenger was quite hungry and he called upon an air hostess :

Do you serve meals?
Yes saah we have beeaah ..we have singha beeaaa..we have heineken beeaah
@#$@, I want meal.
Yes saah we have.. we have singha beeaah.. we have heineken...
( I took pity on my fellow passenger . Since till now i was quite conversant with Thai English)
He wants to eat... eeeaat something.
ohh..yes saah... we have cakes, biscuits...
Do you have any meal ?
yes saah we have meaah.. wait.. 5 minutes i'll get you..
(after 5 minutes)
Sorry saah we have run outta meaah
ohh.. what do you have that i can eat
saah... we have cakes, biscuits and saah.. we have very good veg-non veg meaahss...
@#$@@#, what in non-veg meals?
yes sir we have non-veg meaah
what in non veg..? ok get me whatever you have.
ok saah. which beeaah you want?
is beer included in the meal charges.
sir we have singha beeah, heineken beeah...
is it included in the meal charges..?
Yes saah..
ok give me one Heineken
(here again I have to save my fellow passenger's ass. As I was more than aware of Thai English and Nok airways.I tell him it can't be included in meal charges)
Ok then give me only one meal.
ok saah..thank you.

(Now you know what you are up against when you travel to thailand.)

So this was our trip( ok atleast 50% of it ).
For pictures, you have to visit my orkut page :)


Sep 7, 2007

Viva America

Anyone who might have seen "Beauty and the Geek" on Star World would definitely appreciate the ingenuity of the concept.Yeah really. When all the reality shows play on peoples' sentimental sides, this one makes you laugh your ass off!They basically team up a sexy babe with an ultimate geek from one of the MITs of USA.They might not be as geeky as they look, with all the weird hairdos and perennial Am I on planet Earth type of demeanour.I suspect they receive specific acting lessons and obviously some make-up before the show.I also suspect that "the beauties" receive an IQ test before the show with an upper cut-off limit of 50.
Well the point of the show is that all the geeks are made to do the sexy things and all the beauties are made to do the geeky things.
The question and answer round is interesting.The questions asked to the geeks aren't that tough till the point they start asking them the name of britney's ex husband and all that kind of stuff. Question asked to beauties are too damn easy. Anyway its somehwhat understandable when one of the girl is asked to recognize John Kerry from a picture and she says Al Gore after a lot of deliberation.That is OK; she was atleast close. Not everyone is interested in Dirty Politics.
But things get really amusing when the girls are asked to speak on certain topics.

Topic for Beauty # 1 :What are your views on Global Warming?

Beauty #1: huh..huh... smile..huh..giggle....shit..thank you.
And mind you its not that she had stage fright or anything( she would have undoubtedly performed a pole dance without blinking an eyelid had there been a pole present there).

This one is a classic:

Topic for Beauty # 2: What are your views on Pollution?
Beauty #2:All the things I use are recycled.( Oh my! what a beginning!!). My T-shirt is recycled, My belt is recycled , even my shoes are made from recycled material..they are made of recycled Cow Skin! giggle ..giggle..thank you.
Now tell me, won't this compare with the best episodes of Seinfeld!!And I swear, she wasn't a model and she wasn't a blonde.

There is a You-Tube video circulating heavily on internet. Its a video of Miss Teen USA pageant final round when Miss North Carolina(if I remember correctly)is asked this question : " According to a survey about a third of Americans canno't locate USA on a world map. What do you think of this?"
And what she replied will go down as a legend.She said something like this(shit I don't remember exactly): "...............gibberish........................Iraq and South Africa are very poor and they lack education. USA is helping them by providing them health and education .......... and teaching them to read maps......gibberish...."
Seriously,I have heard stories but its difficult to believe that Americans are really that dumb.
This reminds me of an anecdote that was published in some magazine many years ago. This man from Germany was travelling in a local bus in L.A. when the person sitting next to him started a conversation ,and asked him what does he do for living.German replied "I am into semiconductors" . The person replied : " Really, then you must be pretty used to the bus rides!"

It was fun to read the comments beneath the Miss Teen USA video on you tube( no i am not posting the link ,go search..it must be one of the most viewed of the month or somehting).
Some guy from IRAQ posted : " We are ruled by this country?"
And then some patriotic American came into defense :" You should not make generalisations about the IQ of all Americans after watching this video. If we were so dumb how would we make so many inventions and discoveries?" ( hehe..He himself was surprised wasn't he.)

But then exceptions are always there.. ( Eddie Vedder, Stanley Kubrick and Benjamin Franklin being three of them)

Aug 21, 2007

I have been reading quite a lot these days ( ofcourse by my standards ) . 4 books in 3 months is quite a lot for me. I like to take a break when I have read a book ,to forget it or to absorb it or to garner courage to pick another one.This is unlike movies; if i don't see a movie or atleast half a movie anyday I am all panicky.Naturally ,when i am reading , my frequency of watching movies decreases (although it decreases only by an iota) and then those unpleasant withdrawl symptoms( just like the ones experienced by cocaine addicts). This explains why I don't read much.
Anyway the 4 books which I have read in last 3 months:
Fountainhead(Ayn Rand)...I have already written a post on it.

Inside Out:A personal history of Pink Floyd (Nick Mason) ..only for hard core Floyd fans.

Fever Pitch(Nick Hornby): ... 4.5/5 for hard core Arsenal fans(and here I am not talking about Henry era Arsenal fans ..I am talking about hard core fans ..who know history) ... 3.25/5 for football fans(I fall under this category)....others better skip it...

Haunted( Chuck Palahniuk)...well well .. the post was actually meant to be only about this... rest is all fillers.I had read only 1 book of Palahniuk before this and that was Fight Club (obviously after watching the movie). So i pretty much loved him and a horror book written by him seemed a very attractive proposition.And well Parental Advisory on the front cover and all the cautionary and colourful remarks by Guardian and Daily Telegraph and New York Times on the back cover sounded damn funny . Seriously, I have read all those eye bleeding , horrifying , stomach -churning type of remarks for all Stephen King novels and shockingly even for Charlie and the Chocolate factory.
I generally have great tolerance for gory, gross stuff.Its not that I like it but I won't run away when Saw 3 or Hostel is playing in front of me.And if I can watch, I can definitely read.And if I say something is outrageously disgusting , you better take notice.
Haunted has this Darna Mana Hai kind of setting with 23 short stories and 1 main plot running in parallel.The problem with Haunted is that Chuck Palahniuk starts with the story that is the MOST shocking one in the whole book. Bad idea I must say , because atleast 80% of the people who will start reading the book will feel too sick to continue.So if he had kept "Guts" ( yes thats the name of the 1st story... now you can imagine... NO YOU CAN'T IMAGINE)somehwere in the middle of the book, he would have sold atleast twice the number of books he has sold now. Chuck Palahniuk says in his afterword that in all 73 people fainted during the various" reading sessions" of Guts and I did check the validity of this on internet ( the figure might be exaggerated but its not far off the mark).Obviously "Guts" has become the most talked about thing from the book and in general a hell lot of talked about. And no wonder its easily available on internet and even on Chuck Palahniuk's site.
Not to belittle the rest of the book, the rest of Haunted is also extremely so to say repulsive.You might not get scared but you'll definitely get appalled.But then he indeed is an amazing writer, with awesome 1-liners(remember Fight Club?) ,totally different outlook on most of the things and the black humour(did I tell you many people find this book hilarious). And surely you'll increase great deal of your general knowledge about the topics that might not even cross your mind otherwise( mainly detailed explanations of various ways in which a man can die and human anatomy).
The book will make you wonder how deviant , how deranged a person can be to write a book like this.You might say how deviant someone can be to read this book.But then if you can somehow tolerate the grossness , this book has some really amazing stories.

PS: I know I may have made you curious(maybe that was the whole point) and some of you might even search for "Guts" on internet.I'll suggest not to, don't blame me later.

Aug 17, 2007

Music Recommendation



All absolutely brilliant songs:

I never came : Queens of the Stone Age
Parting of the Sensory : Modest Mouse
Missed the Boat: Modest Mouse
The way we get by : Spoon
My Mathematical Mind: Spoon
The Underdog: Spoon
Don't you Evah: Spoon
Cripple Crow: Devendra Banhart
Little Yellow Spider: Devendra Banhart
Caring is Creepy: The Shins

and well ultraclear,amazingly crisp sound from my speakers
definitely helps. :)



Little yellow spider laughing at the snow
Well maybe that spider knows something that I don't know
Cuz I'm goddamn cold

Little white monkey staring at the sand
Maybe that monkey figured out something I couldn't understand
Who knows

Well I came upon a dancing crab and I stopped to watch it shake, I said,
'Dance for me just one more time before ya hibernate,
and ya come out a crab cake'

And hey there little snapping turtle, snapping at a shell
Oh there's mysteries inside I know
But what they are I just can't tell for sure

And hey there little baby crow, you're looking kind of mean
I think I oughta split before ya start letting off your steam
For sure

And hey there little sexy pig, you mated with a man
And now you've got a little kid
With hooves instead of hands

And oh all of the animals, all of the animals

And hey there little mockingbird, they sing about you in songs
'Oh where ya been? Have ya broke a wing?'
I haven't heard ya in so long

And hey there little albatross, swimming in the air
'Aw, come on you know I can't fly and I
Think we really oughta play fair'

And hey there mister happy squid, you move so psychedelically
You hypnotize with your magic dance all the animals in the sea
For sure

And oh all of the animals, all the animals

And hey there Mr. Morning Sun, what kind of creature are you
I can't stare, but I know you're there
Goddamn, how I wish I knew

And hey there Mrs. Lovely Moon, you're lonely and you're blue
It's kind of strange the way you change
But then again we all do, too.


Aug 2, 2007

What's a sport without the sporty rivalry ?

The England-India test match that just got over was a classic! Seriously!! Where else will you find slip fielders throwing jelly-beans(now we know what English men steal from their children) on the wicket and then Zaheer Khan walking upto Kevin Pietersen and saying "(For the love of Fez)Mate , I am here to play cricket!(not eat candies)". And obviously our mallu hot headed stud boy taking more than a revenge in his 10 minute legendary over.Oh how much I owe Sreesanth for making cricket interesting to me;I still haven't forgotten the awesome kathakali he did a year ago. Shame that his target audience was only Andre Nel when he could have easily filled stadiums with his natural talent.Mind you, I am not being even a least bit sarcastic here, I seriously loved the dance.Anyway coming back to his legendary over, our dude bowled a deadly beamer.Sreesanth and Pietersen both almost lost their heads . Sreesanth figuratively, Pietersen literally.Ok that might be unintentional but the next 1 yard bouncer no ball wasn't for sure. And silly people , complaining, don't make cricket a rowdy game like football ...hehe are you kidding me.. only such incidents can make cricket following reach atleast a millionth of that of football.Who will sit and watch 22 people eating with knives and forks and saying" yes sir, no sir" for 5 days!!

But no matter what England and Indian cricket teams do, this rivalry is not even half as interesting as that of India -Pakistan. That Miandad six which made him a legend (very generously helped by Chetan Sharma's lolly) or that Eden Gardens 1999 Test match( oh how i love people invading the pitch or throwing bottles). This rivalry is so great that it even made Venkatesh Prasad ( yes Venkatesh Prasad) unforgettable when he clean bowled Aamir Sohail on the next ball to the ball on which Sohail hit a four and asked him to follow the trajectory.I suspect that wicket has definitely helped Venkatesh Prasad ( yes Venkatesh Prasad!!) to become Indian bowling coach(!!).

Well how can I leave football out of this post. Many would talk about Celtic-Rangers rivalry, but people there should be some qulaity to the rivalry. So I would say Real Madrid - Barcelona . This was around the time when I had just become a fan of Barcelona and Figo had just left Barcelona ( where he had almost achieved a God-like status). Leaving Barca is one thing , and joining Real Madrid after leaving Barcelona is a completely different thing. I have never seen such a hostile reception to a team ( specifically a player) in my whole football watching career as was when Figo's Real Madrid came to Nou Camp. Imagine 1 lakh people whistling and booing whenever Figo touched the ball ( and well Figo was quite a player at that time , so he touched the ball quite often). And I witnessed that moment live( I mean live on TV) when somebody from the spectators threw a real pig head on Figo!But sometimes the crowd has a capacity to amaze you. That happened in Madrid last to last season when Ronaldinho was at his peak. When he scored his second against Real and all seventy-eighty thousand spectators rose and clapped for him( I don't know whether it was brilliance of Ronaldinho or frustration from pathetic performance by Real Madrid).

Oh there are other sports too. Remember Tyson and Holyfield and right ear and biting.Exciting stuff it was(however gross it might have looked)!
Oh and yes obviously glamorous WWF/WWE rivalries : Bret Hitman Vs Undertaker .... Triple H Vs Stone Cold Steve Austin ...... and well now Batista Vs Reincarnated Undertaker ( I am a little embarrassed to say that I still watch it).

I didn't even have to go that far to enjoy sport rivalries, I have witnessed it live in Kharagpur's inter-hall sports events. I have seen people abusing, people crying, people having nervous breakdowns, people bunking classes,people flunking courses,people getting beaten,people getting hospitalized in the name of sports and hostels.

Btw when is the next test match at Oval?? !!!!!!!

Jul 10, 2007

Graffiti

They fools ( read NASA scientists) look for drops of water in search of life.. Look at me, I am an extraterrestrial...I eat uranium and I DONT breathe.

What!!!!!!!!?? Sensex dropped .01765432% ... and what !!!!!!!!!!!! Lewis Hamilton is again on podium ... Holy Fuck!! I am just an average Indian who hasnt invested a single fucking paisa in any stock and haven't watched a single fucking race in my whole life and still my heart beats like a woofer!...i am just an average Indian and I am everywhere (inspired by 85.6% people surrounding me and their two hottest topics of discussion)

What better way to say -
"It is for Rijkaard to do the maths of four great forwards into three positions. It is for us to sit back and enjoy a festival of football." : Jonathan Stevenson ( BBC News )

The Best Zombie Movie 1-liner ever :
I'm gonna eat your brains and gain your knowledge.
Courtesy : Planet Terror ( Grindhouse)

From Radiohead.com :

dented ego he go she go

we're in this together
sorry am i boring?

we are the pixels on the screen, we feel nothing. we feel hypnotised by your eyes.


From a Radiohead song :

It barks at no one else but me
Like it's seen a ghost
I guess it's seen the sparks a-flowing
No one else would know
Hey man slow, down, slow down
Idiot, slow down, slow down


(Oh you figured out the meaning..plz mail me or call me)


Finally something sensible , JOKE of the month !!!!!!
:

A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?"
And the shopkeeper gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks, "Do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft and fuwwyblack wabby or maybe one like that cute wittle brown wabby over there?"
She in turn puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet, sweet voice, "I don't fink my pyfon weally gives a phuck!"



Jul 2, 2007

Drool


Now that you have started breathing again , this is not one of those futuristic gizmos that they show on Discovery. These stunning Harman Kardon ( JBL) SoundSticks 2 sit on a cheap wooden cot in my cheap,dirty room almost accusing me ,why can't I buy a new house for them.
Although I would have paid extra cash just for the looks , but they have the sound that is as much SEXY.
And yeah , I did my research.
This is how you(or atleast I) buy speakers :
1)Read approximately 1.5 million reviews on CNet , Znet and PC Mag

2)Listen to Another Brick in the Wall /With or Without You on full bass and zero bass on Altec Lansing, Bose and JBL

3)Shortlist three speakers based on the research done in the 1st two steps.

  • Harman Kardon SoundSticks
  • Logitech Z 2300
  • Altec Lansing MX 5021
(Mind you they are in no particular priority).Somebody might ask how can I shortlist Logitech when I haven't listened to them in step 2. Well the answer to that is you don't get Logitech 2.1 very easily in India(atleast in Bangalore). Getting a demonstration is a far fetched idea; its simple, if you order they'll get you one.So Logitech was shortlisted purely based on secondary research.

4) Go to a Computer peripherals shop at 5.30 P.M. which will close at 7 P.M. ( God knows why!).

5)Beg the manager for the demonstration of the JBL and Altec Lansing( which is supposedly against the showroom policy). ( I had heard those speakers in a different shop earlier). When the manager refuses , beg some more. When he still refuses try to stop those ungainly doubts from creeping into your head. When you can't, get out of the showroom and catch an autorickshaw to the nearest cybercafe which is 3 kms far. Again compare the reviews which you already have. After you feel somewhat satisfied catch an autorickshaw back to the shop.

6)Its 6.35 now.Tell the manager that you would like to buy JBL soundsticks. Ask him for the final price quote( which is 10.4 K including taxes).Beg him for a discount.When he refuses beg him some more.When he still refuses , take out your card and then listen the manager reminding you that paying by debit card will cost 2% more. Abuse him ( inside your head obviously).Get out of the shop and run to the nearest ATM. Come back with the cash. Its 6.55 now.

7)Pay him. The manager obliges you by giving you the shittiest headphones in the world - ABSOLUTELY FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!

8)Install those beauties in your dirty room and worry about the acoustics.

9)If anybody says some other speakers are better , or there is a place in Bbay or Bangalore where you can get the same speakers for 8.5 k , ask them to go and f*** themselves.

Jun 22, 2007

Of Football ,Floyd and other kickass Fs

Yesterday i was shocked when this thought appeared in my mind : I am addicted to Football ( how many addictions do i have to deal with for god sake!) .. seriously.. and the prospect of spending 1.5 months without watching any football action seems scary.
Reflecting on the amazing season that just got over.... Yeah Barca didn't win anything.And while watching the last game of La Liga i surprised myself when i actually didn't feel THAT bad when I saw Real winning the game and therafter going into frenzy of celebrations. In fact I felt happy for the ecstatic Raul and Company. Believe me, last year I would have cried ( well almost) if something like this had happened. Now don't get me wrong , I am still the staunchest of the supporters of Barca.It still has so much quality , that if all the players play and play with full commitment, it can embarass any other team in the world.Its just that this season Barca wasn't a team ,it was just 11 separate individuals who all believed that they were the best players in the world and were indispensable.Thats why it was so refreshing to see Real Madrid and the commitment that all players brought to the field ( wanting them to win came naturally to me)
Talking about Barca , let me tell you Ronaldinho and Messi are just untouchables when they are playing at their peak. I mean they are a different class and NO other player in any league even comes close to them.Arrogance and ego comes naturally to you when you are that good.But exactly that led to the downfall of their club. I was watching this game and I just couldn't believe when I saw a wry utterly disdainful smile on Messi's face when he passed on the ball beautifully ( after doing some breathtaking trickery)to Ronaldinho right infront of the goal and Ronaldinho missed the sitter. Its ok dude you might be as good as Ronaldinho but you still have a lot to prove!
Ronaldinho himself was pretty disappointing this season. Why does he have to go down on a slightest of the touches.Its football not figure skating boss! Have you lost all your confidence on the ball or you think you'll score from every free kick you get?Whatever might be the reason , its extremely irritating to watch. You are Ronaldinho!! not Christiano Ronaldo for heaven's sake!I think Eto'o should leave the club(however good he might be), that will help bring some peace back.And please Henry go anywhere , don't come to Barca .. they already have too much ego to handle.I want Deco to stay in any case. Although he is not as effective as he used to be and is always more than ready to exchange punches with other team's players or sometimes even with refree( seriously you should see him salivating at the prospect of getting a Red Card) but he somehow holds the team well.
Once again La Liga proved to be much more enjoyable to watch than Premiership.When was the last time it happened in premiership ( or for that matter any league) that you don't know who among the top 3 teams will win the league till the very last match.Awesome stuff! Imagine what an ideal football league would be like : All teams are equally good , and which club wins the league depends purely on the consistency factor.Ok even La Liga is zillion miles away from being ideal , but it does happen in La liga..any club can defeat any club anyday.In fact Real Madrid was trailing Mallorca 1-0 till almost 70 minutes in the last match when the much ignored humble player from Arsenal saved their asses.Premiership defenders talk about the pace and all that crap.. I can't see it anywhere.If thats the case the best teams should set an example isn't it?On the contrary,its a well proven rule in premiership..bigger the game..more boring it is.Oh ..watch the games when ManU , Chelsea, Arsenal and Liverpool play each other and then watch the games when Real,Barca,Sevilla and Valencia play each other..you'll come to know of the difference.
Milan thoroughly deserved to win the Champion's league. In fact the way they played their 2nd leg against Bayern in quarters , it was pretty evident that no other team had balls to stop them.And the 2nd leg they played against ManU was probably the best performance by a team I have ever seen! It was way way better than ManU drubbing of Roma ( scoreline is not the only indicator of performance you see).
Oh about the title of the post.... it just sounded cool... I'll write about Floyd once i finish reading "Inside Out : A personal history of Pink Floyd" by Nick Mason.

Jun 8, 2007

The Fountainhead

Spoiler Warning : While this post might not reveal the story but it might reveal some other stuff about the characters in the story that might ruin your fun of reading( if you haven't already read) one of the greatest fiction books*** ever written .

I'll start with : Whats the big deal?! .... oh so now you didnt get my point ... there is always the handy fuck .... Whats the big fucking deal!!??.. yeah thats much better..I sometimes wonder why there aren't many spoofs of books just like movies...because this one is the perfect raw material for one. Or still better make a movie spoof of this and cast hmm... YES! cast Leslie Nielsen ( yeah the smooth talking brilliant lieutenant from Naked Gun) as the-most-intelligent-creature- on- earth-the-mister-can-never-go-wrong-the-God Howard Roark.I am already chuckling...imagine Nielsen giving that last courtroom speech in his usual style ;talking about fire and wheels and humanity and people sitting there, listening intently and taking notes. And seriously what was that business of Gail Wynand telling Roark he loves him in every second statement..ok all you people may call me a shallow pervert but it was sort of irritating..in my spoof they'll definitely have sex.
What happened to Mr. manipulator Ellsworth Toohey.. with all those grandiose plans and theories.. in the end he was working as a newspaperman only, isnt it??and that too in a smaller newspaper. Finally somebody please explain me the character of the-second-most-intelligent-creature-on-earth-the-miss-can-never-go-wrong-the-goddess Dominique Francon ( or may I take the liberty to call her the Slut). She has a very simple rule : I hate this world and I hate all the people in this world so i will sleep with all the people in this world so that i won't hate myself ?? huh huh ????huh?
I am not yet finished..oh!that revered love making( or the rape) scene involving Mr. Roark and Ms. Francon...i swear to god i thought i was reading a B-grade novel when i was reading that part... Direct excerpt from the book " she fought like an animal but she made no sound........." ok i'll stop( this blog is not for such explicit material).But seriously Khushwant Singh would have done a better job at that.
And by the way when did architects become so important that people stopped sleeping and eating and started killing over them... weren't there any filmstars in 1920s and 30s..?? What happened to Katherine Hepburn? she didn't get enough publicity or what?

Yes, Miss Rand I somewhat agree with your philosophical ideas about Altruism and Collectivism but you could have explained those in 200 pages less.. you didn't have to hammer them again and again into our heads...ok we might not be as intelligent as Mr. Howard Roark or Miss Dominique Francon but we are not dumbfucks either!

DISCLAIMER : I didn't hate this book, infact it was a decent timepass.Atleast last 100 pages were interesting. I just felt like ridiculing something and this was the easiest target.. yeah I have several other targets but I can't ridicule them in a public place like this.

PS:
1) I never thought I would write about a book on my blog!
2) The best three pages of the Fountainhead were the speech(or whatever) that Ellsworth gave to Keating. For me that was probably the saving grace of the novel.
3)*** : my ass


May 20, 2007

I am sci-phil again!

There was a time when I absolutely loved sci-fi movies no matter how crappy they were. All those space,gravity, aliens and obviously extinction of life on earth thrilled me . Sci-fi movies haven't changed much ; they can be broadly classified into two categories : 1) Dudes come to us 2) We go to the dudes ( replace dudes by Aliens or meteors and you get any goddam sci-fi movie ever released).I am a fan (rather was a fan) of the 2nd category.All that space travel, zero gravity, mainframes excited me. Today I watched "Sunshine" on big screen.I know none of you have heard of the movie . I also came to know about it on wednesday only when I saw its PVR release ad in TOI. I casually checked it on IMDB and whoa! I decided to watch it this weekend no matter what.There are few reasons for that : First of all its been a while since I watched a sci-fi flick in cinema hall( last one was MIB 2 i think).Secondly it is directed by Danny Boyle( Trainspotting(!!), 28 days later) and thirdly it belongs to the 2nd category and has one of the most interesting plots i have heard in a sci-fi film ( well many people would have a different "i" word for the plot : idiotic). Well I'll come to the story a little bit later , first let me tell you what pains I had to go through to watch the movie. I am not normally ( or never) a watch-a-movie-alone-in-the-theater kind of person.So I had to literally drag a friend of mine to come along with me.Oh come on!.. who would be crazy like me to watch a totally unknown movie after paying 200 bucks in PVR.. that too a sci-fi movie ... that too a sci-fi movie with idiotic plot..
and that too on SATURDAY. Oh yes its a well known fact here : YOU DON'T GET MOVIE TICKETS ON WEEKENDS. And mind you when it comes to weekends Bangalore ppl are like mosquitoes who'll buzz over any corpse no matter how rotten it is ( or how less rotten it is).Yes in heights of desperation I have even tried to get gult or tam movie tickets but failed miserably at that too.But somehow my sixth sense hinted that there are not "crazy" enough people in Bangalore. And boy was I right! There were only two movies(out of probably 20-25) whose tickets were available "Sunshine" and "Breaking and Entering". Well i didn't have much clue about the latter one except for that it had Jude Law and well we did ask about it from the ticket counter guy ( my friend's last desperate attempt to avoid Sunshine). When he said B&E is a romantic movie it wasnt difficult to convince my friend to watch Sunshine.I can safely say that all the other people there in the queue were those who didn't get tickets for other movies.But there sure were some funny scenes . For example a couple who were undecided what movie to watch decided upon Sunshine because its name has "romance" plastered over it and well breaking and entering sounded more like a gangster flick .Or this other one which entered the hall when Pirates of the Caribbean trailer was being played and the girl said "Oh there is Johnny Depp in this movie!!!" Or this irritating one sitting right next to us where girl had questions on almost everything ...who are they? what are they doing?Are they in space?( No ma'am that is Titanic and that is black sea and those which look like planets and asteroids are actually jelly fishes). Nevertheless our Audi was HOUSE-FULL!!
Talking about the movie itself . Its plot( which you have been waiting for so long) in 1 line (copied from IMDB ) is : " A team of astronauts are sent to re-ignite the dying sun 50 years into the future." And they plan to do this by detonating a Manhattan sized nuclear bomb in the sun... basically creating a star inside the star.!!Now its up to you to label it interesting or idiotic. But to all you scientists and physicists who think of this plot as impossible to even a 2nd class student here is some more trivia for you :
"The plot does not revolve around the sun dying in the normal sense: this is not due for around five billion years based on our understanding of nuclear fusion. It has instead been "infected" with a "Q-ball" - a supersymmetric nucleus, left over from the big bang - that is disrupting the normal matter. This is a theoretical particle that scientists at CERN are currently trying to confirm, and was one of the many contributions of the science advisor. The film's bomb is meant to blast the Q-ball to its constituent parts which will then naturally decay, allowing the sun to return to normal."

Well I would be lying if i say I loved the movie.If only they had not brought in something in the middle of second half this movie would have been a sci-fi classic for me!(Me and my optimism which thinks that some of you are crazy enough to watch the movie so I am not disclosing that something).This movie had that 2001:A Space Odyssey feel to it ( don't worry it wasn't even half as slow!!)Incidentally it was my only 2nd post fully dedicated to a single movie and the first one was also Danny Boyle's Trainspotting. That was Trainspotting!!!!, this is Sunshine . Sunshine probably doesn't even deserve this post but somehow it rekindled that sci-fi love in me!

PS: I saw two amazing movies last weekend. This year's Best foreign film Oscar winner The lives of others and probably the BEST Hollywood masala movie ever True Romance ( btw it was written by Tarantino).
PPS: If there is God,Milan will win the UCL.Liverpool doesn't deserve it 2 times in 3 years. Milan doesn't deserve it 2 times in 3 years.



Apr 30, 2007

B.A.N.G.A.L.O.R.E ( no its not an acronym...its the name of a city...dots were just to confuse you)

My first two weeks in Bangalore have been quite eventful...and well most of it was occupied by the search..search for a home.... a decent affordable place not so far away from civilization but as far as possible from the landlord/owner ( in fact we were forthright enough to ask the owners , " sir will you or your kids have any problems if we drink beer sitting outside in the balcony on a breezy saturday night(or for that matter any night) ?"So finally we got a decent flat in NGV ( National Games Village) . Its an apartment complex with all those perks ... gardens,swimming pool, tennis courts ,indoor baddy courts,basketball courts, and good looking females ( although you have to pay extra for all of them.. no i didnt mean them you cheap fuckers). And finally .. finally i can play TENNIS!!!!!!!!
NGV , especially our block has one major drawback.Its proximity to the airport. Every 10 minutes or so we have a big Boeing screaming 10 inches above our head ( and mind you I have exaggerated only exactly 10 times). People here say you'll get used to it but i swear to you.. its not safe.. ITS NOT SAFE. In fact you can die in 4 different and equally chilling ways :

  1. First one is obviously a crash right through our building. ( you can do the math and find out the probability .. i am telling you it will come out to be a pretty neat number)
  2. NGV is a pretty old complex and is not exactly known for its architectural brilliance. So anyday when a plane passes on top of our building in its full glory , our house can shake and tumble down like a pack of cards.(.. but then i take solace in Howrah Bridge which has withstood 100 times the traffic( and weight) which it was meant for , for years and still not given up!)
  3. This one seems to be the most likely . Imagine you are having a nightmare where you are on an unstable plane that is about to crash.. and all those oxygen masks, people screaming and puking and fainting ...and suddenly you wake up to a thunderous noise of an airplane above your head ..you'll sure get a heart-attack.
  4. How can we forget our Al-Qaeda friends who might just one day decide to choose not Empire State Building, not Petronas Towers, not BSE but our very own NGV for their next mission.One might ask why NGV?? Well there can be several reasons... one that it is near to the airport so not much trouble holding up the hijacked passengers or they might want to surprise the world or just a foolish step ( I am not sure if Al Qaeda ppl are known for their high IQ ....and there one more reason.. i just pissed Osama Bin Laden)
..and now that I am talking about my stay in Bangalore I have to mention the PUBS.... yeah i've been to the new Purple Haze in Koramangla.Its good.. its 4 times more spacious than the old one.. but that doesn't mean that I'll stop going to the Residency Road.Last Saturday I went to some other rock Pub and when I heard huge roars for Where did you sleep last night ( Nirvana)
and Otherside( RHCP ) but not even a whimper for Black(Pearl Jam) I thought that I have to go to US or Europe soon to fulfill my dream of watching Pearl Jam live before all of them turn 60.
And did i forget to tell you the best "original" CD/DVD rental shop of India is right next to my house .. it has a huge collection sorted by genres..sorted by directors.. sorted by language!! and i'll soon watch the two Kubrick movies which I havent seen ( The Killing and Barry Lyndon ).

PS : I go for work too.Everyday.
PPS : All autorickshaw drivers in Bangalore are *BEEP* ( i'll maintain the sanctity of the blog)

Apr 7, 2007

What a shame!




With players like

<------this and this ----->
in the midfield








and players like this ----->
on the BENCH (!!!)

can somebody please explain me how the fuck can a team struggle to even qualify for Euro 2008 ( and I thought they wouldn't have any problems winning it !!!)

Let me clarify here ,these are not just few extremely talented and "potentially" dangerous paper tigers (somewhat like Indian cricket team although I seriously believe talent quotient there is questionable). These players actually perform breathtakingly well for their respective clubs.
Clockwise from the top : David Silva , Andres Iniesta , Cesc Fabregas
And players like Joaquin and Vicente don't even get a place on the bench!
Although I have talked only about Spanish midfield , we'll get the same story in forward as well as defense lineup. David Villa, Morientes, Torres , Raul .... doesn't it look good?
People who might have some doubts on how good David Silva is ,look at this goal he scored in Champions League match against Chelsea

David Silva Goal for Valencia

and mind you this is not just once in a blue moon chancy shot on goal ( which Bayern Munich and Liverpool players keep on doing) . Silva has been amazing throughout the year.
I so want Valencia to win it this time ... they deserve it - come on poor guys were finalists for two consecutive years (2000 & 2001).

Mar 29, 2007

The Trip

[Bangalore {Getting drunk ,shitty Apocalypto.. shittier 300... Purple Haze..Getting drunk... iron maiden concert (The ultimate mistake of reaching there sober except for the headache and dizzines from the last night's drinking , 30k-40k crowd making it the largest ticketed concert ever in India ,ppl trying to smuggle vodka in their underwears,pathetic opening acts :Parikrama ditto,Lauren Harris- ruining her father's reputation,someone on the stage announcing "You can tell your fucking kids someday that you were there in the fucking Bangalore to watch the fucking Iron Maiden concert. Yeah!",tall long haired goateed black Teed dudes, dude here, dude there , dude everywhere , dudes unnecessarily pushing and shoving, Copious amounts of Ganja in the air already devoid of Oxygen,1 water/watery pepsi outlet with 100 ppl in a sort-of-queue , 1 loo with 100 ppl in a sort-of-queue, Rs 900 barricade brought down by the crowd,a short stampede, very energetic and enthusiastic Maiden ,Number of the beast, Run to the hills, we losers complaining and complaining instead of enjoying , we losers shamelessly leaving the ground while the show was still in progress)Hypnos, getting drunk},Teen patti in the train , Goa ( Beer ,south goa,Palolem,sea, beach,huts, beer,babes, bikini babes, "non-bikini" babes , beer, fishes,prawns,lobsters,lying down on the beach,beer ,sunset,kicking someone's ass at pool,tattoo,fox teeth necklace, north goa ,Honda activa, getting lost at 2 A.M., beach , beer ), Zillion photos]

PS : GOA is Awesome!
PPS: Bands from Assam, Sikkim and Calcutta doing Iron Maiden covers at IIT Kgp OAT was a much better experience than the real deal.
PPPS : Download Pentagram's new song Voice from here: Voice.One of the best songs I have heard from an Indian band

Mar 7, 2007

(Haphazardly )^ 3 : Just to keep the blog running

I have completed yet another stint of my educational life and yes it had all the excitement that a college life could provide.Although for once I wanted to get out, I know it won't be long before I start longing for college life. I don't know what it is - My unbelievable thirst for education ( !!! ) or my ultimate passion of getting bored of almost anything in an unbelievably short span of time but I guess no one( obviously not me) will be surprised if they find me doing some PhD or something 2-3 years later.And obviously college has its own perks : you live in a hostel with your friends, you dont have to worry about your daily requirements( that includes food) , you wouldn't have to think how will you reach office if you miss the morning bus coz u overslept , you don't have to be answerable to anyone , you don't have to look forward to the weekend to watch movies ,your neighbours don't complain if you listen to the music at loud volume ( even if they do you don't care), you can have rave parties all night long without worrying about the police ( i can't help it , these news channels continue to brainwash me.. now i don't want to start .. i am already sick of all the coverage on Umaid Bhavan Palace and Liz Hurley and Arun Nayar .. who the fuck gives a fuck if some random actress is marrying in India), you have complete freedom to do whatever you want and you don't have to WORK.

And sitting at home , the biggest bad news for me is that I am already bored of TV ( its been barely 3 days!) and i have ended up watching disproportionate amounts of football and basketball and utterly useless shows on VH1 ( which I thought only losers watch) where they show huge bungalows of ultra rich basketball players or singers.Coming back to football, Barcelona was knocked out of Champions league yesterday (although they won yesterday 1-0 and were 2-2 aggregate but Liverpool went through on more away goals).But Barcelona didn't exactly disappoint yesterday , they tried hard and showed that they still are too classy for liverpool or any other team in Europe in whatever few chances they created ..if only Eto'o was in his best form they wouldn't have had so much of problem penetrating the defense. Anyway its not easy to win 2-0 at Anfield and full marks to Liverpool too. In fact Barca were knocked out in the first leg itself where they lacked any commitment whatsoever and gave away the match by making stupid mistakes.Now I hope Valencia or Roma wins the Champions League ( not because they are underdogs..but Valencia because it is playng amazing football and Roma because Totti ( I mean " THE Totti ") is back!But match of the season was surely Spurs vs West Ham ( 4-3).. what a pulsating game ! and i havent felt so bad for any losing team for a long time as I felt for West Ham.When Tevez scored the 2nd goal making it 2-0 in the first half ( the best first half scoreline West Ham has seen this season) and he took off his T-shirt(not caring for yellow card) and jumped into the crowd you could feel the excitement ,the desperation. I have never seen such spectator frenzy the whole year. But what happened in the 2nd half ( Spurs scored two in last 4 mins) was nothing short of a tragedy.

We have planned a Bangalore- Goa trip after some days.Now that I am placed in Bangalore, the charm of going for a Bangalore trip has reduced a bit but still I am pretty much excited. We have the Iron Maiden show ( yeah yeah i know they are old and they are no Pink Floyd or Led Zeppelin ) but they still kick ass. And whenever i see the crowd humming the "Fear of the Dark" tune in Rock in Rio live set I get all pumped up.And obviously there is this much awaited visit to Purple Haze with friends who'll be going to Bombay or Gurgaon for their jobs.We didn't want to ,but we Bangaloreans or Hazians have implicitly created so much hype about Purple Haze that I am afraid that to other ppl it might not look like a paradise which they were expecting it to be.After all whats the big deal ,just some above average ambience... and music..even after 2 years I can still tell the exact list of songs and the order in which our beloved DJ will play them( because he doesnt believe in experimenting).But its still the best pub in the country even if thats not saying too much! And when one pitcher goes in ppl will believe whatever you want them to believe in :)

Feb 22, 2007

A big fat depressing post

I just came across this amazing video

Amazing Video

The animation is absorbing and it hypnotises you.If the song is not depressing enough for you ( Radiohead - Creep) the video will surely get on to your nerves.
One thing is clear : I don't want to be the guy in the video 1 yr down the line( you'll understand once you watch it)

Binge drinking can cause sudden strokes ...well..

Barcelona lost 1-2 at home to Liverpool.Not that Liverpool deserved to win , with both goals coming from Barca's defensive blunders.Somehow I have stopped feeling bad for them ( quite an irony considering that their defeat was the trigger for this post).But nowdays whenever I see any Barca match I get the feeling that I am the only one who gives a fuck( not players, not the coach).

Feb 1, 2007

Music = Bliss

When I get bored I write arbit stuff about music.

Foo Fighters' song Come Back ( Last track on the album One by One) is a good song. Nothing great...well almost. Its a long 8 minute song and it starts off with some heavy guitaring ... but in the middle it slows down and at around 3 minute 35 second mark you are greeted with a soothing acoustic guitar sound which gradually blows your mind away.You have to listen to it to believe how awesome it is! In a way Come Back has an uncanny resemblance to Baba O' Riley. Remove the end violin/Harmonica solo and the classic Who song reduces to an average one time listen forme.

Metallica's Battery never ceases to surprise me! It begins with a soft likeable guitar riff..pretty amazing and you expect a little romantic song ..but then suddenly the guitar roughens up, pace changes and when you were expecting something like " Oh baby..... " you hear " Lashing out the action, returning the reaction Weak are ripped and torn away Hypnotizing power, crushing all that cower Battery is here to stay ". I don't know why but it always cracks me up. No that I am complaining, I love the raw power and speed of the song just like all others in Master of Puppets Only complaint is that throughout the song they never return back to the awesome riff with which they started it.

Nine Inch Nails Hurt is one of my favourite sad songs. Perfect lyrics,perfect vocals , perfect bass and drums but the point is not that.Hurt ends abruptly with a loud unpleasant noise ( its especially unpleasant 'coz I generally listen to the song at very high volume ). And everytime I know its about to come and I won't like it still for some weird reasons I don't stop the song. Its like some masochistic tendencies or as they say pain for pleasure.

Territorial Pissings is an amazing song just like any other song on Nevermind. And its difficult for me to accept that the best part I like is towards the end when Kurt Cobain is screaming his lungs out. He just keeps on repeating the line "Gotta find a way to find a way when I'm there" , just as his intensity keeps on increasing , the comprehensibility of words keeps on decreasing. Actually the last 2-3 times he doesn't even try to articulate anything... he just screams something like what a mental retard/or a 1 year old infant would do.But I really admire him, that kind of rhythmic screaming needs some skills.. if you don't believe me try doing it yourself.

How can anybody sing a complete 6 minute song in a high pitch! And it doesn't irritate you , it gets you high. I am talking about Soundgarden - Hands All Over . Chris Cornell is a God.

Pull Me Under ( Dream Theater) and Wish You Were Here (Pink Floyd) have the best intros/build ups ever.

If I have to live with just one CD (10 songs ) on a remote island for the rest of my life ( what a cliche!) Fake Plastic Trees and Street Spirit( Fade out) will be the first two songs I'll put on that CD. If you are wondering both are Radiohead songs from the same album.

Mind-boggling Science Fiction 3

Me to my personal Artificially Intelligent buddy, Rocket:  Rocket, can you do this calculation for me. What's 7 + 4? Rocket: Dude, d...