Nov 24, 2006

Homage

I can't refrain myself from posting on music.Its the only obsession i have got ( not movies, not football , not boozing :D ) . And I noticed that I haven't posted anything about The Gods themselves so this is dedicated to all my favourite bands!
And obviously everything starts with Pink Floyd. You don't get bored of eating, you don't get bored of sleeping,you don't get bored of waking up and you don't get bored of listening to Pink Floyd.Period.If people who have only heard Another Brick in the Wall 2 , Comfortably Numb and Coming Back to Life don't get bored of Pink Floyd why would I?And there is much more ,no much much more to PF than these three songs. Hell I like 4 songs from the same album ( Division Bell) better than Coming back to life.With Roger Waters they were divine , without him they are pretty much more than human beings. And why not? I always thought that David Gilmour had more influence on PF's music than Waters (many people will think the other way).And some brainless punks of punk rock movement accused them of being too pretentious. I think they were not sure what pretentious means , there's difference in being pretentious and being audacious , being ahead of your time. Who else will even think of spending millions on a single concert where a real wall is built live on stage and then brought down just because they wanted people to empathize with the concept of "The Wall". Who else will make a song of length 24 minutes which contains music which can't be by any definition called mainstream ( I am talking about "echoes") and believe me if you watch the final scene of "2001: a space odyssey" with echoes playing in background , you don't need any cocaine . That Dark Side of the Moon is the 3rd largest selling album in the world ever makes me happy ( not that I give a shit about commercial success but it feels good to know that theres some sanity left in the world).
There's a cliche that goes " you grow up with Led Zeppelin". It took me a little time to understand the meaning of it.If I say that Pink Floyd is the greatest band ever to have graced the earth many eyebrows will be raised but if i replace Pink Floyd by Led Zeppelin not many people will object. To make it more clear if you ask all the people in the world( who listen to English music) which is the greatest band ever the statistics would look something like this : 40% Led Zeppelin , 30% Beatles , 30% Others. Its actually not hard to believe this.All 4 of the band members were geniuses Page , Bonham are among the best ( if not the best) and when you start appreciating Plant you'll have the same opinion for him too.From the brilliance of Stairway to Heaven , to the trip of No Quarter and the rock of Whole lotta love these guys did everything possible. Led Zepp defined Rock and Roll ... from filling up huge stadiums in a matter of seconds to excessive debaucheries. Their on stage and off stage theatrics , some of them extremely notorious and infamous (what more even Bonham the drummer died by choking on his puke)made them sort of immortal . Not that I am great fan of all these "Activities" ...even Tommy Lee( drummer of Motely Crue) has the largest circulated porn tape ever to his credit ( if you are wondering who was the female, it was none other than Miss Pamela Anderson) but here lies the difference ; for tommy this was his biggest and probably only achievement , for zepp it was part of the arrogance that arose from the brilliant music they made. It was the same arrogance which made them release an album( led zepp 4) without the band name or album name anywhere to be seen on the cover or the back. I started liking Led Zeppelin pretty late(i kick myself for that) . Now I have heard almost each and every song ever released or bootlegged , but still if I happen to find some song which I havent heard I am inundated with huge anticipation.
If you divide all the songs in 4 categories : Hard , Not so Hard , Not so Soft, Soft and select top 10 songs in each of them there will atleast be one Pearl Jam song in each category.That's the variety Pearl Jam plays. How many bands can boast of 6 Top Class albums( i love Binaural too). Its there last two albums only which I think are not as good.And if somebody does not like " No Code" he is not even a Pearl Jam fan or a music fan in general.Yes I think they never topped "Ten" but who can?What a god Eddie Vedder is! As if he has some cubic polynomial equation inserted in his throat and he can vary every variable precisely to produce the desired effect. Change the value of variable y to 3.67 to produce the exact cracking effect.Take an average PJ song and make Eddie sing ooooh....or Mmmm in between and it becomes a classic.But PJ is far from a one man army. Listen to the breathtaking guitar solos if you don't believe me. Eddie, Gossard, McCready all are so good that if tomorrow Pearl Jam decides to breakup we'll have 3 world class bands! Saying Pearl Jam is the best band of the last decade is like insulting them. Blood,Go, Animal, Rear View Mirror, Garden, Not For You, Evenflow,Alive, Immortality, Black,Release,YellowLed Better, Nothing Man, Off He goes, Parting Ways ,Present Tense : yeah these are awesome songs in the order of categories mentioned above and there are 100 more. Go listen , adore , i bet you'll find your own favourites for every mood.
When somebody says that Radiohead is a one song wonder I feel like chopping off his ears and feeding him those for lunch.But that will be a rare comment now.Now, take any poll published anywhere in the world for the best album ever " OK Computer" will most probably be on the top.And "OK computer" is not even my favourite Radiohead album!( The Bends is). Some people might complain that Radiohead is depressing and thats true but when you listen to their beautiful and profound lyrics you'll doubt yourself " Am I right in being happy? " Ok thats not exactly a very positive and enthusiastic way to praise a band but I would say Radiohead is more about introspection than depression. And even if you choose to ignore the lyrics completely( which I strongly advise not to) still the melody and the voice will haunt you for hours. If Pink Floyd was audacious they are more so. Listen to " Kid A" and you'll come to know why. I read some comment somewhere ( probably Amazon reviews) that even if Thom Yorke utters gibberish like " blahblehblehbluh" it becomes the most fascinating statement in Rock and Roll that year. I totally agree!
When people say Seattle people think Nirvana or Pearl Jam. There was another band which was not as "Grunge" and was much darker : Alice in Chains. AIC is more metal than grunge and they are awesome. The album"Dirt" immediately comes to mind when you think of AIC . If I am given an option to listen to three songs before I die "Rooster" will definitely be among those three.There are other great albums like Jar of Flies , SAP but I would like to mentioned their acoustic live " MTV Unplugged" . That is without any doubt the best acoustic, in fact the best live recorded album ever!yeah it is better than Nirvana's version.Who would imagine a metal band who are so used to relentlessness of electric guitar would produce such a wonderful acoustic set. But there are reasons for that. If you look at the video of the recording Layne Staley looks as if he has been brought in right from his death bed to sing ( and he probably was!). Although the sight of sick-appearing Layne is disturbing but that brings so much of pain in his voice, that no singer faking the pain can compare.Secondly Jerry Cantrell is a God and is one of the best guitarist ever!The result is breathtaking and some songs like "Would" in this album sound even better than their original versions.Even without Layne AIC rocks and they have started playing again. How I wish they'll release another album.

Any music post is not complete without the mention of Thrash Metal. There was a period when I worshipped Metallica. I still love their first 4 albums. That was Metal in its purest form, that was Metal as it should be , that was attitude , that was I don't give a fuck music which inspired so many people.After they released "Black Album" they changed ( Black incidentally is their largest selling album and it is the album which I absolutely hate). It is sad that all people have heard Nothing else matters ,Unforgiven( which I think is the worst song ever for any metal band) but not many people have heard Fade to Black and One. And when Metallica started sucking I found the purity in Megadeth. Although I am not huge fan of the singing ability of Dave Mustaine but him and Marty Friedman make what is probably the best Guitar duo in any band ever. "Rust in Peace" is such an amazing album , that even a Britney Spears listening guy would love it! " Holy Wars... the punishment due" is the best metal song. Period.
There are several other excellent bands like Nirvana,Soundgarden,The Who, The Doors,Iron Maiden,Dream Theater, Black Sabbath, Pantera,Travis, RHCP,Tool etc but they lack something which separates them from the Great bands.

And who needs them anyway ,didn't i start with " you don't get bored of Pink Floyd."
This is my longest post till date , and I knew it as soon as i began writing.

Nov 16, 2006

Lack of ideas

Since I am not feeling sleepy and I want to post something and I don't want to post again on music or movies and I have no better idea, I'll post one of the 9-10 stories which i wrote long time back. I have only 3 of them on my laptop , and if this enthusiasm towards regular blog posting lives on,all 3 of them will be here in some days.Some people here and earlier have already read these stories and their comments necessitate this disclaimer.

Disclaimer : All the stories are in first person but that is because I couldn't think of any good name; Ram,Shyam,Rahul,Gaurav, Tom,Harry,Leonard, Albert, all sound so cheesy.These stories have nothing to do with my personal life experiences or my personal thought processes. And if you think I am being defensive ... Fuck I Care.

STORY 1 :

Once upon a time I and my friends went trekking.
Everybody thought that it was some hot air balloon. I kept screaming that it was a UFO. When nobody listened to me I alone started running for my life. And so the aliens abducted me. They must have thought that I was playing some cheap trick.
Their spaceship was a big let-down …no air conditioner .. sloppy interiors….no modern computer panels… “How are you mister ?” the alien said to me….

*Wow they are technologically so advanced …they can speak English ..must be using some hi-tech chip in his throat with language manipulation program (LMP) fed in it.*

“Well mister human you getting some wrong ideas ,we aren’t using any technique its just the case that I know English. And now please don’t think that I was mind reading you. It was just a guess.” “Actually some humans taught me English.”

*Humans!!! Shit! Did they abduct anybody before me?? I am not the first one. So I wont be in the limelight.i wont be the centre of attraction when I get back.*

“ Don’t worry Mr. human you are the first one we are abducting.”
“ How did you know what I was thinking ..you surely can read minds!”
“ No.we cant. Actually…..hmmm…Mr. human you might not like it..i feel really bad to say this..but u have a habit of muttering while you think.So I come to know whatever you think.”

*Oh no! I always had this habit! And I didn’t have the faintest idea.Now I know why Mary ran away when she was asking for a date and I was thinking that her breasts had grown really big in the last one year.Then I had thought that she had gone crazy.*

“So if u didn’t abduct anyone how did you come in contact with the humans?”
“ Well you remember the spaceship you sent from earth for Mars mission. You could not get any pictures of us coz we kept hiding from your cameras. We cant show our ugly faces to the whole universe . well that’s a different story but the interesting part is that your spaceship was supposed to be unmanned but these two girls Josie and Frosie sneaked into the rocket due to security lapse and reached mars.”

*Oh! Josie and Frosie…Man!! I had real crushes on both of ‘em…coz both were identical twins. I didn’t eat for 4 days when they suddenly went missing on 14th February. Everybody thought that sharks got them while they were trying to learn swimming in their bikinis…Bloody Greedy sharks.*

“ Don’t mind but your spaceship sucks!”
“Well mr. human we are technologically very backward.This spaceship was also presented by our Jupiter friends. You might not be knowing that people on Jupiter are very simple and not at all fashion conscious..They really don’t know what luxury means and that’s what is reflected in this spaceship.”
“We are so dumb that we couldn't even fly a rocket, but they made it extremely easy for us..look I’ll show you”

“Push button A to take off”
“There's this knob for speed control”
“ There’s this steering wheel just like your cars”
“Push button B for landing”

“So where are Josie Frosie???”
“Well You might not like this…..as you can see that basically we are ugly creatures….when our people saw josie frosie they were fascinated. They couldn’t believe that something in this universe could be so beauitful. We got this museum of natural sciences.We have kept them there as exhibits where people pay and watch them. If anybody wants to fiddle with them he has to pay some extra bucks…”
“ Oh! You buggers molest those poor girls…you bastards…”
“whats with this Sexual Molestation Josie Frosie also keep on cribbing about that…. I don’t know whats so immoral about sexual molestation….we are proud of our body parts and definitely would love if somebody wants to touch them..or feel them .”

*Ewwww… who would want to touch you slimy filthy creatures.*

“And Mr. Human if I am not wrong Sex is related to reproduction..so whats immoral about it..we consider reproduction sacred..and every martian will do anything to have Sex…its just the case we don’t need two people to reproduce…there is no concept of male or female …We just grow naturally….you know like your concept of fruits growing on trees ..the same way… “

“ So why the hell did you abduct me??”
“ Well…..we came to know from josie frosie that average human life span is 75 earth years….that means they’ll die in about 50 years. We don’t want our children to miss the nature’s ultimate creations . We don’t want to show them only the photographs of these two girls and say that this kind of beauty do exist in universe but we are unable to show it to you….I hope by now you understand what we want you to do….If not then I’ll tell you- we want you to copulate with josie and frosie and produce many more like them.”

* NOW THIS IS CALLED - A DREAM COME TRUE.*

Nov 13, 2006

Obligatory movie post

Casino Royale is releasing in some days and I have to admit that I am really excited. This excitement amazes me too coz i am not even a big Bond fan! What more, I have only seen 11-12 bond movies till date.I find old Bond movies funny and forgettable( which probably was the purpose) . New ones are not funny but they are forgettable indeed .They lack the basic smartness in the script and the expected breathtaking stunts ( which you might find in an Arnie movie like True Lies).I didn't like Brosnan much either, ok he was suave but thats about it... he lacked the attitude which a person who has got the licence to kill, paranormal gadgets and supermanly powers should possess.Bond is not supposed to be human , isn't that the whole point?I say Batman is much more human than James Bond.
So why am I excited? There are several reasons :

1)Daniel Craig : Whatever people say I think he is very well suited for the role.And those of you who have seen Layer Cake can't deny the fact that he'll bring the attitude, that menacing charm to Bond which was severely lacking all these years.He can act brilliantly in a dark , edgier Bond film. He can be mean and merciless and when he kills someone without blinking an eye you won't gasp with disbelief (which was the case with Pierce Brosnan). Ok Craig doesn't exactly have the most photogenic face, but he can be very stylish and his heavy voice and british accent just adds to the charm.
And if not Craig who could it have been? First name that comes to my mind is Clive Owen! Maybe he would have been a better choice but I would like him to act in more Sin Citys and Closers and Gosford Parks than Bond movies.Ewan Mcgregor... ok at the first instance his name sounds to be too frivolous and too boyish for the role , but the kind of actor he is he can send chills up your spine whenever he wants.But again I didn't want him to waste away his talent in Bond movies.Jude Law.. he would have handled ladies department perfectly but i am not sure about the action sequences.Personally I don't give much of shit about Hugh Jackman.

2) Eva Green : Go watch The Dreamers and then you'll also say Who the fuck is Halle Berry.. who the fuck is Denise Richards..who the fuck is Izabella Scorupco ( ok I love her too..)

3)Martin Campbell- He also directed Golden Eye which will definitely be among top 3 Bond movies for me.

4) Movie trailers look very good!

I hope Casino Royale is not a let down.


After so many years I watched Airplane again yesterday and I still can't stop myself from smiling when I just think of those scenes. Ok some jokes might seem dated and cliched but this movie started it all in 1980 and believe me all hot shots and naked guns easily pale in comparison.And there are innumerable legendary one liners and dialogues!

Elaine Dickinson: There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?

Ted Striker: Surely you can't be serious.
Rumack: I am serious... and don't call me Shirley.

Elaine Dickinson: You got a letter from headquarters this morning.
Ted Striker: What is it?
Elaine Dickinson: It's a big building where generals meet, but that's not important.

Rumack: Captain, how soon can you land?
Captain Oveur: I can't tell.
Rumack: You can tell me. I'm a doctor.
Captain Oveur: No. I mean I'm just not sure.
Rumack: Well, can't you take a guess?
Captain Oveur: Well, not for another two hours.
Rumack: You can't take a guess for another two hours?

Hanging Lady: Nervous?
Ted Striker: Yes.
Hanging Lady: First time?
Ted Striker: No, I've been nervous lots of times.

There are many others but they sound much better in the movie!

Mind-boggling Science Fiction 3

Me to my personal Artificially Intelligent buddy, Rocket:  Rocket, can you do this calculation for me. What's 7 + 4? Rocket: Dude, d...