I loathe people who love watching golf.
Now come on when it comes to watching sports I am no less than a freak.You can find me watching Bundesliga matches all alone in the TV room, there have been days when I have watched each and every ball bowled in an utterly boring test match,I can watch tennis for hours without blinking an eyelid , I can watch F1 , I can watch Basketball,I can watch rugby, sometimes I can even watch Beach Volleyball( purely for my interest in sports...ok ok I know you can't think straight.)
But Golf.. Golf is different.Some influential people who were good at nothing started hitting balls arbitrarily...and the trend has continued ;even now some influential people who are good at nothing or who have become "good at nothing"( due to age,impotency ,insanity ,disease) continue to endorse Golf.And the increasing popularity of Golf just proves my theory that Global Warming has serious effects on brains of people with less brains( I am thinking of writing a paper on this .If anybody wants to co-author please send me your CV by email).
Imagine a situation :Tomorrow I am rich and popular ( or for that matter you are rich and popular..happy?) and have enough number of amazingly dumb followers. One day I am bored and start smoking a cigarette from my nose and one of those amazingly dumb follower watches me doing that.. he thinks its Cool!! I seize the opportunity, make a sport out of it and my name is written in the history books as the originator of the Great Game.
And to conceal the awesome idiocy of Golf they have introduced infinite jargons ( par,tee, handicap, punch,bunker.. what nonsense). Think of the jargon-less Golf when they tell people that in Golf you just have to hit the damn ball in the hole...people would be laughing their asses off!
One important thing that has kept Golf going is the snob appeal.If you are rich you have to play Golf.Some poor guy might like cleaning the toilets more than playing Golf but due to peer pressure he HAS to play.After all he is rich and lives in the company of some "elite" people.Its like if he says he doesn't want to play golf :" Why what happened? Is your company running in losses?".
I can still understand that some people might derive some sort of pleasure by playing Golf but I completely fail to comprehend what pleasure do people get in watching those people.
And who said slavery does not exist anymore.Isn't Caddie just a fancy name of a slave... " Hey Caddie I order you to carry my equipment!! Hey Caddie I order you to wipe the shit from my ass!!"
Tomorrow if Elin Nordegren gives me an offer where she is ready to ditch her husband(Tiger Woods) for me if I start playing Golf I would say ...YES!!!!!!!!( what did you think?? eh....)
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