Especially just after my afternoon nap.So you know when not to talk to me.
People say these all the time:
If only I had studied!!
( oh yeah i know man....its just because you are not studying that you are stuck with us lesser mortals.And I hope God gives his signal soon so that you can start studying and you are liberated from this world full of dumb animals.)
I'll tell you one thing if you promise you won't tell it to anyone else.
( first of all how can u assume that i give a damn about your thing and i'll waste a promise on that and anyway when was the last time anybody kept his promise. In fact I seriously think that you want the whole world to know your thing and thats why you added the promise clause.But you must know that these psychological tricks have become very old.So why don't you stop trying hard to be Important and tell me the thing coz if you take more time I might just ask you to shove the thing up your ass.)
I hope I am not looking too bad...I didn't have time to dress up properly etc etc
( As a matter of fact you are looking disgustingly bad.i can barely stand smelly you right now.No matter how much you want me to praise your beauty or swank, I won't. I don't want you to live in the world of false dreams.)
This country is going to dogs!What kind of impotents are sitting up there! Why can't they just drop a bomb in Pakistan
(Oh yes and when they drop a bomb here to return the favour, people like you will be the first one running here and there holding on to your pants and cursing "those foolish ministers."
PS: I am in no way defending our dear politicians . I still think they are all mostly assholes.)
I am definitely quitting smoking "this time"
( this is very much like the promise one. First of all I know you say this everyday. Secondly why do you think it will make an inch of difference to me or anyone else if you die of lung cancer tomorrow. So don't brag about how you used to smoke 2 packs a day and now "thinking" of stopping.Its as simple as it sounds: I Don't Care.)
It was love at first sight.
(Holy shit! i didn't know your vocab was so pathetic.Get hold of a dictionary. You just might stumble upon the right word.)
An extremely annoying kid throwing things here and there, shouting , trying to act smart.
Aunty : " See!!! how naughty he has become!!"
( I know aunty you are so proud of the fact. But can't you see he is just pain in the asses of all the people sitting here.All of us want to strangle him ,its just that we are bound by the respect for you. I suggest you to stop being happy and slap him if you don't want him to become a roadside thug when he grows old.)
PS: I also say some of the above mentioned stuff sometimes; so no need to get offended.
Me to my personal Artificially Intelligent buddy, Rocket: Rocket, can you do this calculation for me. What's 7 + 4? Rocket: Dude, d...
I like people with opinions, even when I find their opinion ridiculous. PS: I would have proudly worn that T-shirt 7 years back ( especial...
I don't watch Indian television. Not at all. No really, I have 25-30 favourite channels and not a single one of them is a Hindi channel...
When you spend enormous amount of time on internet you stumble upon these. And, I am not complaining.