Aug 22, 2006

Eye Candy

When I said they are Goddesses I really meant it.

You can thank me for two breathtaking wallpapers :)

Aug 17, 2006

Sometimes, I can be extremely irritable and mean

Especially just after my afternoon nap.So you know when not to talk to me.
People say these all the time:

If only I had studied!!

( oh yeah i know man....its just because you are not studying that you are stuck with us lesser mortals.And I hope God gives his signal soon so that you can start studying and you are liberated from this world full of dumb animals.)

I'll tell you one thing if you promise you won't tell it to anyone else.

( first of all how can u assume that i give a damn about your thing and i'll waste a promise on that and anyway when was the last time anybody kept his promise. In fact I seriously think that you want the whole world to know your thing and thats why you added the promise clause.But you must know that these psychological tricks have become very old.So why don't you stop trying hard to be Important and tell me the thing coz if you take more time I might just ask you to shove the thing up your ass.)

I hope I am not looking too bad...I didn't have time to dress up properly etc etc

( As a matter of fact you are looking disgustingly bad.i can barely stand smelly you right now.No matter how much you want me to praise your beauty or swank, I won't. I don't want you to live in the world of false dreams.)

This country is going to dogs!What kind of impotents are sitting up there! Why can't they just drop a bomb in Pakistan

(Oh yes and when they drop a bomb here to return the favour, people like you will be the first one running here and there holding on to your pants and cursing "those foolish ministers."
PS: I am in no way defending our dear politicians . I still think they are all mostly assholes.)

I am definitely quitting smoking "this time"

( this is very much like the promise one. First of all I know you say this everyday. Secondly why do you think it will make an inch of difference to me or anyone else if you die of lung cancer tomorrow. So don't brag about how you used to smoke 2 packs a day and now "thinking" of stopping.Its as simple as it sounds: I Don't Care.)

It was love at first sight.

(Holy shit! i didn't know your vocab was so pathetic.Get hold of a dictionary. You just might stumble upon the right word.)

An extremely annoying kid throwing things here and there, shouting , trying to act smart.
Aunty : " See!!! how naughty he has become!!"

( I know aunty you are so proud of the fact. But can't you see he is just pain in the asses of all the people sitting here.All of us want to strangle him ,its just that we are bound by the respect for you. I suggest you to stop being happy and slap him if you don't want him to become a roadside thug when he grows old.)

PS: I also say some of the above mentioned stuff sometimes; so no need to get offended.

Aug 12, 2006

of wishes and fetishes and other weird stuff.

The way Wanda gets turned on when someone spoke Italian , French or any other language was very funny. If you don't know I am talking about the movie A Fish called Wanda( 1980s comedies rock!!!!). Well now I feel a sort of empathy with Wanda . And hell I don't even need different languages , just the Brit accent ( of English) is enough to turn me on( ok not sexually like in the case of Wanda) but a turn on nevertheless.Music or Movies, just make them britishly and they become awesome. I am not even talking about Gods popularly known as Pink Floyd , Radiohead, Led Zeppelin or Black Sabbath; just get some local Brit band and purge them from American adulteration(if any) and it all sounds so beautiful.Even if they simply say "I love God" it sounds like a sermon that not even the Pope can deliver.Ditto for movies , if Trainspotting and Lock,Stock and Two Smoking Barrels weren't made in UK they would have lost half their charm. Some people will argue that if they were made in US they would have atleast understood the dialogues. Oh yes, it needs serious practice to understand what all those crazy people talk. You need to be a movie buff. :)
Coming back to A Fish Called Wanda ...this is probably the best "Romantic" line ever used by a person to woo his girl in any movie!!

This is what Archie says to Wanda : "Wanda, do you have any idea what it's like being English? Being so correct all the time, being so stifled by this dread of, of doing the wrong thing, of saying to someone "Are you married?" and hearing "My wife left me this morning," or saying, uh, "Do you have children?" and being told they all burned to death on Wednesday. You see, Wanda, we'll all terrified of embarrassment. That's why we're so... dead. Most of my friends are dead, you know, we have these piles of corpses to dinner. But you're alive, God bless you, and I want to be, I'm so fed up with all this. I want to make love with you, Wanda. I'm a good lover - at least, used to be, back in the early 14th century. Can we go to bed?"

I have always wanted to play guitar . Well blame it on lack of motivation or sheer laziness , I won't touch the guitar on my own.To get in the mood I have also tried seeking professional help so that they can instill some desire into me( and its not that I can't learn ,in fact I used to play Banjo pretty well). And my conversation with my instructor goes something like this:

Me: Sir, I want to learn to play guitar
Him: Good. We'll start from the basics. You should practise A minor today.
Me: Whats your problem. I don't have that much time.I am not here to get grades. Just teach me how to play fucking Highway Star and I'll be a happy man.
Him: Hmmmm........... Get Lost.

So I get lost , go to my room open the guitar tabs for highway star on google( my heart burning with passion) .I decide to first listen to Highway Star for the last time , before I start playing it myself. And then a thought occurs , if there are so many people in this world who can play guitar so amazingly why do I need to flex my muscles. I'll instead utilize my energy in listening and appreciating them.

Believe me if you are lazy and impatient at the same time you are doomed.

Aug 4, 2006

My Lists : Part 1

Songs that are in the top of my mind:

Best Songs to give you neck sprain :

Pull me Under : Dream Theater
Holy Wars(..the punishment due) : Megadeth
Painkiller : Judas Priest
Beautiful People : Marilyn Manson
The Four Horsemen :Metallica
Cemetery Gates : Pantera

Best Guitar Solos:

Return to Serenity : Testament
Shine on You Crazy Diamond : Pink Floyd
Alive : Pearl Jam
No More Tears : Ozzy Osbourne
Stairway to Heaven : Led Zeppelin
Painkiller: Judas Priest
Hangar 18: Megadeth

Best Guitar Riffs:

Whole Lotta Love: Led Zeppelin
Iron Man : Black Sabbath
Heaven Beside You: Alice in chains
Immortality : Pearl Jam
Sweet Home Alabama: Lynyrd Skynyrd
Sweet Child o mine : Guns n Roses
Highway to Hell: AC DC

Best Songs to soothe your soul :

All I need - Air
The Golden Age - Beck
In the Waiting Line- Zero 7
The Rain Song - Led Zeppelin
No Surprises - Radiohead
Beautiful Girl - INXS

Best Instrumentals :

Original Motion Picture Score : American Beauty
Talisman : Air
For the Love of God : Steve Vai
Chariots of Fire: Vangelis

Best Songs when you are low or when you want to get depressed :

Falling Down : Travis
Street Spirit( fade out) : Radiohead
Black: Pearl Jam
Wearing the inside out: Pink Floyd
Hurt : Nine Inch Nails

Best songs when you are happy :

Over the hills and far away : Led Zeppelin
Happiest Day of our lives/Another Brick in the Wall 2: Pink Floyd
Bohemian Rhapsody : Queen
LA Woman : The Doors
Freebird: Lynyrd Skynyrd
Don't you forget about me : Simple Minds
Drive : Incubus

On a long drive in a rainy pretty weather :

Riders of the storm : The Doors
La La love you - Pixies
Hush - Deep Purple
Turbo Lover- Judas Priest
1979- Smashing Pumpkins
Whats up- 4 Non Blondes
Lemon Tree- Fool's Garden
Scar Tissue: Red Hot Chili Peppers

When you want to sing along:

Comfortably Numb: Pink floyd
Release : Pearl Jam
Summer Holiday: Cliff Richard
Shine : Collective Soul
Fear of the Dark: Iron Maiden
Take away my pain : Dream Theater
Kula Shaker :)
Smells like Teen spirit: Nirvana

When you feel like committing a murder/ destroying public property/Starting an inferno:

Killing in the name of: Rage Against the Machine
Rape Me: Nirvana
Parallel Universe: Red Hot Chili Peppers
Man in the Box: Alice in Chains
Number of the Beast: Iron Maiden
All my life: Foo Fighters
1996: Marilyn Manson

Mind-boggling Science Fiction 3

Me to my personal Artificially Intelligent buddy, Rocket:  Rocket, can you do this calculation for me. What's 7 + 4? Rocket: Dude, d...