Jun 6, 2006

The Great Indian News Revolution

Have you counted the number of news channels lately....star,ndtv,aaj tak,sahara,headlines today, zee,india tv,ibn,times,dd...etc etc and an equal number of business news and regional language news channels.Well its good that India has grown up to 24 hrs of news but the point is most of the channels don't have any news to show.All of them keep on harping upon the same useless piece of junk for hours.They have restricted themselves to only national politics,crime,bollywood and cricket. No international news(except for bomb blasts and earthquakes),no sports(other than cricket),no science and technology, no music,no history , no geography....nothing.
A channel will boast of its exclusive coverage from a small town where a girl slapped a guy after being eveteased or aishwarya rai losing 0.05 inches of weight around her waist for her next role( and then a half an hour long interview asking her what special diet she followed to lose that precious fat and then 15 minutes interview of her fitness trainer).
But as far as airtime goes nothing beats cricket. Every day ,whether there is any series going on or not we have our expert panel( constituting great experts like Saba Karim and Mandira Bedi clones) discussing important matters.

For example look at the following question asked by our knowledgeable gorgeous lady to Mr.Karim:

Lady: Sir,what do you think should Indian team focus on , in this crucial series against England?

Expert(afer lot of deliberation) : I think India should focus on beating England
( Oh thank you sir for your lovely insight, we foolish Indians were missing the whole point ...we thought cricket is played just to have some fun with your ball)

Another one :

Lady: Sir, what do you think Sehwag needs to do to get back in the form?

Expert: I think he needs to get back his confidence
(Holy Shit! sir we'll put u on direct line with Sehwag , your words of wisdom might help him regain his confidence)

And the match coverage itself..rain has temporarily stopped the One-day match...and our news reader :
" We'll take you directly to Guwahati stadium to our correspondent preeti....
Preeti what is the situation like ..are spectators getting frustrated over the delay?"
( No ma'am people are really happy that match is being delayed ..who wants to see a fucking 50 over match..20-20 is the in thing after all!!)

All this nonsense is not confined to cricket.other obsession that all news channels share is bollywood actors.
Oh yes they find Mallika Sherawat eligible enough to be on discussion panels on issues like Indian nuclear policy or Sardar Sarowar Dam or IIM fees hike.I still remember when I felt like crying.Salman Khan had just been released (on bail) after spending 3 days in the Jodhpur jail and our reporter( visibly ecstatic over interviewing the great bollywood hunk) asks with a look of concern over his face: Sir, now that you have spent 3 whole days in prison, what do you think about the condition of Indian jails and the concept of imprisonment itself. Should punishment just be seen as a tool of transformation and reformation?

and Salman Khan(with a triumphant look on his face...after all Gandhiji also spent days in prison) has whole lot of things to say over this issue.


And the great "Sting Operations" ..I am afraid that what started as genuinely useful methods to expose corruption might soon become stage presentations.

Nowdays they are obsessed with Cocaine ,Heroin and Rahul Mahajan and so they have decided not to give even 5 minutes of airtime to reservation controversy which was a hot topic just a few days back.Where has the sense of responsibility and morality gone now??

Plz plz expand your coverage. Be less sensational and more innovative or be the old half an hour doordarshan news(that was almost as informative and we all eagerly waited for it).


M B Mahesh said...

Manan, what is bothering you...i always thought you enjoyed lookin at them :D
anyways, those questions are for ppl who take time to understand, not for ahem.. guys studied and studying from prestigious insti's...

wanderer said...

"Is Everything ShIt or is it just me" ..........
fits the bill anman...
i'm tellin you :)

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