Dec 24, 2006

Almost Famous!

4 extremely bad things that an extremely good movie can do to you :

It can make you love songs sung by sad ugly Gay people ( Elton John - Tiny Dancer)
It can convince you that you are not high enough until you jump into a swimming pool from a 3 storeyed building.
It can make you hate everything that is "present".
It can make you rebellious

Just why can't I get enough of this movie?

In eleven years its going to be 1984,man. Think about that!
Wanna see me feed a mouse to my snake?
Yes!

Dec 18, 2006

Story 2

I woke up and she died. It always happens: whenever I “do” something someone else gets hurt. Waking up is a big enough thing to kill a person. Well to make it clear to you I am living in a world of “attitude extremism”. While some people are extremely selfish, others are extreme hedonists or extremely jealous or depressed or shy or salacious or complacent etc etc. This attitude extremism occurs at 3 levels. First is the basic level when your attitude can affect your lifestyle or thought process or your health in a drastic way. Second level is more dangerous when you can go to the extent of torturing or even killing yourself or others in order to fulfill your attitudinal desire. Third level is something paranormal when your attitude or thoughts can dangerously affect others without you being directly involved physically or mentally. There are very few cases of the third level. I am one of them. I am an extreme sadist.

I don’t know how or when this behavioral distortion set in the mankind. Some say you get a particular attitude from your genes but nothing has been proved.
Coming back to me; I sleep every night and wake up every morning so you can say I am on a murder spree: my killing rate being 365 per year. And to tell you the truth I can’t help it. Even if I don’t want anybody to get killed when I wake up…it will happen …I have no control over it. And I like it. Remember I am a sadist. And as you might expect it’s always some clean-handed happy person who dies. Either somebody who has won a lottery or got a promotion or got married or just woke up feeling satisfied with his life .If there were more 3rd level people with same attitude as mine there wouldn’t be any single happy soul left on the earth. But that’s not the case .So I guess there aren’t many or maybe I am the only privileged one. It’s not like I target anybody before I go to sleep. It happens automatically. When I wake up and come to know of a death in our neighborhood or read about a death in the newspaper, my sixth sense tells me that it is because of me. Sometimes when there is no one that I come to know who has died I assume that someone has died far away in Africa or Mars and become very happy at the thought of it. And all the deaths look natural , normally accidents …so nobody can charge me of committing murders ……however people do have some idea that people like me exist in this world. Well you must be thinking that if I am such a sadist what about my conscious attempts to hurt others. I am little afraid to get directly involved in the acts of harming other people because of police and all. However sometimes I have desperately tried to make people miserable and have been fairly successful too! And anyway my sub-conscious efforts give me enough pleasure.

One day she came into my life .She was very beautiful and intelligent. When I asked her what was her attitude disorder she didn’t tell me …and I didn’t tell her…it was forbidden to do so. Nevertheless I loved her very much .The only problem was she also loved me very much. For some months our love story went flawless..like a fairy tale. And then my bloody instincts started taking over me. How could she be so happy with me? For once I could not forget my sadism. There had been cases or at least rumors where people had overcome their attitude disorder or still better carried on with “dual instincts.” That in my case could be my usual sadist attitude and my extremes love for her both residing side by side in my brain in a mutually exclusive fashion. But that was not to be. I no longer could tolerate her smiling face. That day I had decided that I would tell her to leave me. But something shocking was about to happen. When I was about to open my mouth to give her the bad news she said that she was leaving me forever and she couldn’t tell why. She couldn’t ,huh.. as if I was a dimwit. She was also one fucking sadist and she wanted to hurt me but alas, she was not aware of my true self! And why should I allow her to have all the fun. So I told her that I was a sadist and that sure must have diluted her fun. She left without a word. But there was no denying the fact that we both truly loved each other.

Days passed. Then I came to know that she was having an affair with some other guy. I spied on them. They both looked happy. I can’t describe how wretched and destroyed I felt. How could she be so happy? But then I thought this was also a temporary phase….she would leave that poor guy too as soon as his happiness went beyond her tolerance level. But what if she had overcome her basic instincts..or what if she had established dual attitudes…No!I couldn’t leave her so happy and satisfied…I would kill that bitch.

This was the first time I was going to murder someone consciously…but I didn’t give a damn. After a little planning I found her alone at night while she was retuning from her work. I caught her by surprise.. grabbed her neck and pressed it so hard …until she choked.

And here I am telling you the story of my life. There’s one more thing that I would like to tell you. That night when I looked at her dead face she was smiling…as if she had died a very contented death. My brain always tells me this...but I don’t want to believe..my mind tells me that she left me because she liked being with me….and maybe ,maybe she liked being killed .My brain always tells me that she was Masochist level 2. And now that I have started believing my brain, my health is deteriorating. How could I hurt someone who liked being hurt! I had never done that. My aim is to make people sad……

Wait a second……you people are taking pleasure reading my sad story….aren’t you…. I’ll stop.


Dec 3, 2006

MACR song

I share, you share, we both share
Ooooh , that tender love and care,
In the process we'll make one , or even a pair.

I pay, you pay , we all pay tax
Our life has all that jazz, a little bit of guitar, a little bit of sax,
A little bit of fast food , a little bit of lax.

I tookover , you tookover, we all tookover something
"Everybody wants to rule the world" , we heard them sing,
So we did takeover the world, oh its nothing.

PS: MACR = Mergers, Acquisitions and Corporate Restructuring.

Dec 1, 2006

The Adventure theory of Human Actions : A case for Antisocial behaviour

Well if you think carefully almost all the things that people do is governed by the want of some sort of adventure.The things that vary are the definition of adventure, risk taking abilities and extent of moral binding. People who earn money,people who beg,people who work hard,people who don't work hard, people who want to be famous,people who want to be oblivious,people who want to live long,people who want to die soon are all seeking some kind of adventure.The sole reason even for serial killers to commit those heinous crimes is that they want some adventure in life.We loathe them because their adventure curves and their victims' adventure curves don't intersect. Also our extent of moral binding is somewhat more than those of serial killers.Even the people( earliest homo sapiens or some paranormal power) who propagated these morals were seeking some adventure.
I seriously get worked up by the thought of waking up one day in a different country or even a different planet and starting my life from scratch there. Or abruptly disappearing from the job ( after I get one) , wandering around the world for 3-4 months and then returning back and claiming that I was kidnapped by terrorists.Ok these look far fetched but there are several adventures you can look forward to in your day to day life : shoplifting, dine and dash , ticketless train travel ,ticketless movie watching,trespassing, unnecessary badmouthing,eating at some stranger's marriage party etc etc ! Ok all these are illegal but thats not a necessary condition but in most of the cases thats a sufficient condition indeed :) . Also monetary gain is never the motive of these adventures, its just a collateral.I have indulged in some advetures myself , been successful sometimes and chickened out at other instances.
My life hasn't performed badly on the adventure quotient.Some of the adventures were not my willing like breaking a leg after falling down from a cycle! ( that too pretty recently) or almost getting run over by a train while trying to act cool by pissing in the middle of the tunnel . There are others when I inflicted adventure upon myself like suddenly deciding to leave a job ( not due to any major happening but just because I got bored) and that too when I didn't have any other job offer or MBA call with me ; and then enjoying some days of freedom by watching lots of movies before applying to other companies.
I watched The Big Lebowski yesterday. It was my 2nd time. I remember liking it as an entertaining timepass when I watched it for the first time. But yesterday it was nothing short of classic for me. Definitely the best from Coen brothers.And the movie goes well with the adventure theme of the post , quite an adventure for Lebowski that started as a consequence of not that much of an ugly act : (somebody peed on his rug ).Watch it for the acting of John Goodman , watch it for awesome one liners , watch it for mesmerizing visuals or watch it for the DUDE , dude.

Nov 24, 2006

Homage

I can't refrain myself from posting on music.Its the only obsession i have got ( not movies, not football , not boozing :D ) . And I noticed that I haven't posted anything about The Gods themselves so this is dedicated to all my favourite bands!
And obviously everything starts with Pink Floyd. You don't get bored of eating, you don't get bored of sleeping,you don't get bored of waking up and you don't get bored of listening to Pink Floyd.Period.If people who have only heard Another Brick in the Wall 2 , Comfortably Numb and Coming Back to Life don't get bored of Pink Floyd why would I?And there is much more ,no much much more to PF than these three songs. Hell I like 4 songs from the same album ( Division Bell) better than Coming back to life.With Roger Waters they were divine , without him they are pretty much more than human beings. And why not? I always thought that David Gilmour had more influence on PF's music than Waters (many people will think the other way).And some brainless punks of punk rock movement accused them of being too pretentious. I think they were not sure what pretentious means , there's difference in being pretentious and being audacious , being ahead of your time. Who else will even think of spending millions on a single concert where a real wall is built live on stage and then brought down just because they wanted people to empathize with the concept of "The Wall". Who else will make a song of length 24 minutes which contains music which can't be by any definition called mainstream ( I am talking about "echoes") and believe me if you watch the final scene of "2001: a space odyssey" with echoes playing in background , you don't need any cocaine . That Dark Side of the Moon is the 3rd largest selling album in the world ever makes me happy ( not that I give a shit about commercial success but it feels good to know that theres some sanity left in the world).
There's a cliche that goes " you grow up with Led Zeppelin". It took me a little time to understand the meaning of it.If I say that Pink Floyd is the greatest band ever to have graced the earth many eyebrows will be raised but if i replace Pink Floyd by Led Zeppelin not many people will object. To make it more clear if you ask all the people in the world( who listen to English music) which is the greatest band ever the statistics would look something like this : 40% Led Zeppelin , 30% Beatles , 30% Others. Its actually not hard to believe this.All 4 of the band members were geniuses Page , Bonham are among the best ( if not the best) and when you start appreciating Plant you'll have the same opinion for him too.From the brilliance of Stairway to Heaven , to the trip of No Quarter and the rock of Whole lotta love these guys did everything possible. Led Zepp defined Rock and Roll ... from filling up huge stadiums in a matter of seconds to excessive debaucheries. Their on stage and off stage theatrics , some of them extremely notorious and infamous (what more even Bonham the drummer died by choking on his puke)made them sort of immortal . Not that I am great fan of all these "Activities" ...even Tommy Lee( drummer of Motely Crue) has the largest circulated porn tape ever to his credit ( if you are wondering who was the female, it was none other than Miss Pamela Anderson) but here lies the difference ; for tommy this was his biggest and probably only achievement , for zepp it was part of the arrogance that arose from the brilliant music they made. It was the same arrogance which made them release an album( led zepp 4) without the band name or album name anywhere to be seen on the cover or the back. I started liking Led Zeppelin pretty late(i kick myself for that) . Now I have heard almost each and every song ever released or bootlegged , but still if I happen to find some song which I havent heard I am inundated with huge anticipation.
If you divide all the songs in 4 categories : Hard , Not so Hard , Not so Soft, Soft and select top 10 songs in each of them there will atleast be one Pearl Jam song in each category.That's the variety Pearl Jam plays. How many bands can boast of 6 Top Class albums( i love Binaural too). Its there last two albums only which I think are not as good.And if somebody does not like " No Code" he is not even a Pearl Jam fan or a music fan in general.Yes I think they never topped "Ten" but who can?What a god Eddie Vedder is! As if he has some cubic polynomial equation inserted in his throat and he can vary every variable precisely to produce the desired effect. Change the value of variable y to 3.67 to produce the exact cracking effect.Take an average PJ song and make Eddie sing ooooh....or Mmmm in between and it becomes a classic.But PJ is far from a one man army. Listen to the breathtaking guitar solos if you don't believe me. Eddie, Gossard, McCready all are so good that if tomorrow Pearl Jam decides to breakup we'll have 3 world class bands! Saying Pearl Jam is the best band of the last decade is like insulting them. Blood,Go, Animal, Rear View Mirror, Garden, Not For You, Evenflow,Alive, Immortality, Black,Release,YellowLed Better, Nothing Man, Off He goes, Parting Ways ,Present Tense : yeah these are awesome songs in the order of categories mentioned above and there are 100 more. Go listen , adore , i bet you'll find your own favourites for every mood.
When somebody says that Radiohead is a one song wonder I feel like chopping off his ears and feeding him those for lunch.But that will be a rare comment now.Now, take any poll published anywhere in the world for the best album ever " OK Computer" will most probably be on the top.And "OK computer" is not even my favourite Radiohead album!( The Bends is). Some people might complain that Radiohead is depressing and thats true but when you listen to their beautiful and profound lyrics you'll doubt yourself " Am I right in being happy? " Ok thats not exactly a very positive and enthusiastic way to praise a band but I would say Radiohead is more about introspection than depression. And even if you choose to ignore the lyrics completely( which I strongly advise not to) still the melody and the voice will haunt you for hours. If Pink Floyd was audacious they are more so. Listen to " Kid A" and you'll come to know why. I read some comment somewhere ( probably Amazon reviews) that even if Thom Yorke utters gibberish like " blahblehblehbluh" it becomes the most fascinating statement in Rock and Roll that year. I totally agree!
When people say Seattle people think Nirvana or Pearl Jam. There was another band which was not as "Grunge" and was much darker : Alice in Chains. AIC is more metal than grunge and they are awesome. The album"Dirt" immediately comes to mind when you think of AIC . If I am given an option to listen to three songs before I die "Rooster" will definitely be among those three.There are other great albums like Jar of Flies , SAP but I would like to mentioned their acoustic live " MTV Unplugged" . That is without any doubt the best acoustic, in fact the best live recorded album ever!yeah it is better than Nirvana's version.Who would imagine a metal band who are so used to relentlessness of electric guitar would produce such a wonderful acoustic set. But there are reasons for that. If you look at the video of the recording Layne Staley looks as if he has been brought in right from his death bed to sing ( and he probably was!). Although the sight of sick-appearing Layne is disturbing but that brings so much of pain in his voice, that no singer faking the pain can compare.Secondly Jerry Cantrell is a God and is one of the best guitarist ever!The result is breathtaking and some songs like "Would" in this album sound even better than their original versions.Even without Layne AIC rocks and they have started playing again. How I wish they'll release another album.

Any music post is not complete without the mention of Thrash Metal. There was a period when I worshipped Metallica. I still love their first 4 albums. That was Metal in its purest form, that was Metal as it should be , that was attitude , that was I don't give a fuck music which inspired so many people.After they released "Black Album" they changed ( Black incidentally is their largest selling album and it is the album which I absolutely hate). It is sad that all people have heard Nothing else matters ,Unforgiven( which I think is the worst song ever for any metal band) but not many people have heard Fade to Black and One. And when Metallica started sucking I found the purity in Megadeth. Although I am not huge fan of the singing ability of Dave Mustaine but him and Marty Friedman make what is probably the best Guitar duo in any band ever. "Rust in Peace" is such an amazing album , that even a Britney Spears listening guy would love it! " Holy Wars... the punishment due" is the best metal song. Period.
There are several other excellent bands like Nirvana,Soundgarden,The Who, The Doors,Iron Maiden,Dream Theater, Black Sabbath, Pantera,Travis, RHCP,Tool etc but they lack something which separates them from the Great bands.

And who needs them anyway ,didn't i start with " you don't get bored of Pink Floyd."
This is my longest post till date , and I knew it as soon as i began writing.

Nov 16, 2006

Lack of ideas

Since I am not feeling sleepy and I want to post something and I don't want to post again on music or movies and I have no better idea, I'll post one of the 9-10 stories which i wrote long time back. I have only 3 of them on my laptop , and if this enthusiasm towards regular blog posting lives on,all 3 of them will be here in some days.Some people here and earlier have already read these stories and their comments necessitate this disclaimer.

Disclaimer : All the stories are in first person but that is because I couldn't think of any good name; Ram,Shyam,Rahul,Gaurav, Tom,Harry,Leonard, Albert, all sound so cheesy.These stories have nothing to do with my personal life experiences or my personal thought processes. And if you think I am being defensive ... Fuck I Care.

STORY 1 :

Once upon a time I and my friends went trekking.
Everybody thought that it was some hot air balloon. I kept screaming that it was a UFO. When nobody listened to me I alone started running for my life. And so the aliens abducted me. They must have thought that I was playing some cheap trick.
Their spaceship was a big let-down …no air conditioner .. sloppy interiors….no modern computer panels… “How are you mister ?” the alien said to me….

*Wow they are technologically so advanced …they can speak English ..must be using some hi-tech chip in his throat with language manipulation program (LMP) fed in it.*

“Well mister human you getting some wrong ideas ,we aren’t using any technique its just the case that I know English. And now please don’t think that I was mind reading you. It was just a guess.” “Actually some humans taught me English.”

*Humans!!! Shit! Did they abduct anybody before me?? I am not the first one. So I wont be in the limelight.i wont be the centre of attraction when I get back.*

“ Don’t worry Mr. human you are the first one we are abducting.”
“ How did you know what I was thinking ..you surely can read minds!”
“ No.we cant. Actually…..hmmm…Mr. human you might not like it..i feel really bad to say this..but u have a habit of muttering while you think.So I come to know whatever you think.”

*Oh no! I always had this habit! And I didn’t have the faintest idea.Now I know why Mary ran away when she was asking for a date and I was thinking that her breasts had grown really big in the last one year.Then I had thought that she had gone crazy.*

“So if u didn’t abduct anyone how did you come in contact with the humans?”
“ Well you remember the spaceship you sent from earth for Mars mission. You could not get any pictures of us coz we kept hiding from your cameras. We cant show our ugly faces to the whole universe . well that’s a different story but the interesting part is that your spaceship was supposed to be unmanned but these two girls Josie and Frosie sneaked into the rocket due to security lapse and reached mars.”

*Oh! Josie and Frosie…Man!! I had real crushes on both of ‘em…coz both were identical twins. I didn’t eat for 4 days when they suddenly went missing on 14th February. Everybody thought that sharks got them while they were trying to learn swimming in their bikinis…Bloody Greedy sharks.*

“ Don’t mind but your spaceship sucks!”
“Well mr. human we are technologically very backward.This spaceship was also presented by our Jupiter friends. You might not be knowing that people on Jupiter are very simple and not at all fashion conscious..They really don’t know what luxury means and that’s what is reflected in this spaceship.”
“We are so dumb that we couldn't even fly a rocket, but they made it extremely easy for us..look I’ll show you”

“Push button A to take off”
“There's this knob for speed control”
“ There’s this steering wheel just like your cars”
“Push button B for landing”

“So where are Josie Frosie???”
“Well You might not like this…..as you can see that basically we are ugly creatures….when our people saw josie frosie they were fascinated. They couldn’t believe that something in this universe could be so beauitful. We got this museum of natural sciences.We have kept them there as exhibits where people pay and watch them. If anybody wants to fiddle with them he has to pay some extra bucks…”
“ Oh! You buggers molest those poor girls…you bastards…”
“whats with this Sexual Molestation Josie Frosie also keep on cribbing about that…. I don’t know whats so immoral about sexual molestation….we are proud of our body parts and definitely would love if somebody wants to touch them..or feel them .”

*Ewwww… who would want to touch you slimy filthy creatures.*

“And Mr. Human if I am not wrong Sex is related to reproduction..so whats immoral about it..we consider reproduction sacred..and every martian will do anything to have Sex…its just the case we don’t need two people to reproduce…there is no concept of male or female …We just grow naturally….you know like your concept of fruits growing on trees ..the same way… “

“ So why the hell did you abduct me??”
“ Well…..we came to know from josie frosie that average human life span is 75 earth years….that means they’ll die in about 50 years. We don’t want our children to miss the nature’s ultimate creations . We don’t want to show them only the photographs of these two girls and say that this kind of beauty do exist in universe but we are unable to show it to you….I hope by now you understand what we want you to do….If not then I’ll tell you- we want you to copulate with josie and frosie and produce many more like them.”

* NOW THIS IS CALLED - A DREAM COME TRUE.*

Nov 13, 2006

Obligatory movie post

Casino Royale is releasing in some days and I have to admit that I am really excited. This excitement amazes me too coz i am not even a big Bond fan! What more, I have only seen 11-12 bond movies till date.I find old Bond movies funny and forgettable( which probably was the purpose) . New ones are not funny but they are forgettable indeed .They lack the basic smartness in the script and the expected breathtaking stunts ( which you might find in an Arnie movie like True Lies).I didn't like Brosnan much either, ok he was suave but thats about it... he lacked the attitude which a person who has got the licence to kill, paranormal gadgets and supermanly powers should possess.Bond is not supposed to be human , isn't that the whole point?I say Batman is much more human than James Bond.
So why am I excited? There are several reasons :

1)Daniel Craig : Whatever people say I think he is very well suited for the role.And those of you who have seen Layer Cake can't deny the fact that he'll bring the attitude, that menacing charm to Bond which was severely lacking all these years.He can act brilliantly in a dark , edgier Bond film. He can be mean and merciless and when he kills someone without blinking an eye you won't gasp with disbelief (which was the case with Pierce Brosnan). Ok Craig doesn't exactly have the most photogenic face, but he can be very stylish and his heavy voice and british accent just adds to the charm.
And if not Craig who could it have been? First name that comes to my mind is Clive Owen! Maybe he would have been a better choice but I would like him to act in more Sin Citys and Closers and Gosford Parks than Bond movies.Ewan Mcgregor... ok at the first instance his name sounds to be too frivolous and too boyish for the role , but the kind of actor he is he can send chills up your spine whenever he wants.But again I didn't want him to waste away his talent in Bond movies.Jude Law.. he would have handled ladies department perfectly but i am not sure about the action sequences.Personally I don't give much of shit about Hugh Jackman.

2) Eva Green : Go watch The Dreamers and then you'll also say Who the fuck is Halle Berry.. who the fuck is Denise Richards..who the fuck is Izabella Scorupco ( ok I love her too..)

3)Martin Campbell- He also directed Golden Eye which will definitely be among top 3 Bond movies for me.

4) Movie trailers look very good!

I hope Casino Royale is not a let down.


After so many years I watched Airplane again yesterday and I still can't stop myself from smiling when I just think of those scenes. Ok some jokes might seem dated and cliched but this movie started it all in 1980 and believe me all hot shots and naked guns easily pale in comparison.And there are innumerable legendary one liners and dialogues!

Elaine Dickinson: There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?

Ted Striker: Surely you can't be serious.
Rumack: I am serious... and don't call me Shirley.

Elaine Dickinson: You got a letter from headquarters this morning.
Ted Striker: What is it?
Elaine Dickinson: It's a big building where generals meet, but that's not important.

Rumack: Captain, how soon can you land?
Captain Oveur: I can't tell.
Rumack: You can tell me. I'm a doctor.
Captain Oveur: No. I mean I'm just not sure.
Rumack: Well, can't you take a guess?
Captain Oveur: Well, not for another two hours.
Rumack: You can't take a guess for another two hours?

Hanging Lady: Nervous?
Ted Striker: Yes.
Hanging Lady: First time?
Ted Striker: No, I've been nervous lots of times.

There are many others but they sound much better in the movie!

Oct 27, 2006

The artist in me

I have drawn some sketches in last three months or so. Yeah I know if I put them here it might lead to some large scale plagiarism but I am willing to take that risk.. after all art is there for everyone to see and admire.And these are only the paintbrush replicas of the original masterpieces, so their value is anyway greatly diminished. I have chosen six of those sketches. Reason for choosing these:they are less abstract hence more accessible to novices like you.

Oct 20, 2006

Glory Days

Some days I'll never forget :)

1) The day when I saw ET and T-2 on VCR back to back.Both the movies were highly recommended by my friends.We decided to watch ET first. I slept in the middle of ET( which I did during most of the movies).After the movie my friends woke me up and I wondered what the hell was that..i mean whats the big deal..this supposedly cute dude drops from outer space and then they keep talking some boring crap throughout the movie .
AND then we watched T2. That movie changed my life. Arnold became my God( as he was for atleast 90% of other kids then).I was awestruck by the action sequences and special effects( I still am!)

2)When I played Scotland Yard for the first time.And that superiority complex we had over other kids who hadn't played/or didnt like it! They must have low IQs we would think and glow with contemptuous pride.

3)When I discovered the The 30 Chances Funda in Contra. 'Discovered' is a wrong word to use actually. I had known "the funda" for some days.. you had to press some weird combination of keys on the remote to get it , and you had to be quick and flawless.We spent hours waiting to watch the screen where it will show 30 instead of the measley "3". Finally there it was shining like a halo .What an unbelievable orgasmic feeling it was!!!

4)When I read the first "play" of my life in the English class.I don't remember the name of the play or the author but what I do remember is that it was a romantic comedy with a little twist in the end.And what racket we created in the class because the heroine turned out to be the stepsister of the hero.We converted the cute little play into one monster of a literature piece infusing wicked thoughts in the minds of young innocent minds. The teacher(lady) was embarrassed to the core!

5)When I lit the "atom bomb" without a timer for the first time. If you are wondering whats the timer it was just a mechanism whereby you would peel off little flash powder(or whatever) from the string (or whatever) so that it burnt slowly and you had enough time to run far beyond the unsafe limit. After incessant bantering from my cousins I decided it was TIME .Although the bloody bomb exploded even faster than the usual time and I had the bloody shriek in my ears for 2 hours I still was king of the world.

6) My first taste of a mass bunk : Sankranti was( atleast till 12th standard) the biggest day of the year for me. Diwali was big , but Sankranti was bigger.And then imagine after waiting for the whole year , when the D-Day finally arrived there was absolutely no wind( No don't give me that "you don't know how to fly kites" crap. I can do it better than you can wash your you know what )throughout the day.The wave of disappointment and shock that swept the city was comparable to what happenend when Rajkumar died in Bangalore.But we had a better, more constructive solution than burning buses and creating traffic jams.Our whole class decided to bunk the school next day and celebrate Sankranti on 15th! And not a single soul from our class went to school next morning.

7) When we saw the last episode of "Kile Ka Rahasya". I have rarely felt that excitement and anticipation.

8)How can I leave music? This was the day when I first heard Smells Like Teen Spirit. That was the time when Bryan Adams was the best singer in the world and Another Day in Paradise was the best song ever.Oh yes there was some vague band called Pink Floyd(???) who had only one good song called Another Brick in the Wall which had some catchy lyrics.. We don't need any education( it sounded like we don't need No education...buggers didn't even know how to sing)
Smells like was the first song I had heard where a person was screaming as if he was having labour pains and to my own surprise I liked it!

Oct 13, 2006

Beatles, ha ha charade you are!

Psalm 23 is a sacred poem recited by Jews and Christians. It basically thanks God for being the protector.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the path of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

Pink Floyd has a breathtaking album called Animals( modelled on Animal Farm). And there's a brilliant song called Sheep on it. Well the song portrays how the common-innocent-middle class sheep is oppressed by the strong and how one day they'll revolt against this subjugation.
More importantly it has a parody of Psalm 23 and obviously lot of noise was made by the fundamentalists.
ONLY Pink Floyd could write something like this :)

This is also Religion -only a bit more interesting and sensible :

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me down to lie. Through pastures green, He leadeth me the silent waters by. With bright knives, He releaseth my soul. He maketh me to hang on hooks in high places. He converteth me to lamb cutlets. For lo, He hath great power, and great hunger. When cometh the day we lowly ones, Through quiet reflection, and great dedication Master the art of karate. Lo, we shall rise up. And then we'll make the bugger's eyes water.

Talking of Animals, its unlike any PF album.What brilliant recording and orchestration, even after 30 years and all the chic gadgets I don't think any band can produce those kind of effects.My favourite song on Animals is the venomous Pigs( Three Different ones). There's a part when they curse Margaret Thatcher and how!

Bus stop rat bag, ha ha charade you are.
You fucked up old hag, ha ha charade you are.
You radiate cold shafts of broken glass.
You're nearly a good laugh, almost worth a quick grin.
You like the feel of steel, you're hot stuff with a hat pin,
and good fun with a hand gun.
You're nearly a laugh, you're nearly a laugh,
but you're really a cry.

And Beatles have sold more albums than Pink Floyd???? Somebody explain this to me naa....


Oct 6, 2006

The Cure

Enough of all the alternative-indie-garage crap......... I have to return to my metal roots. And what more, God himself gave me the sign...... my canteen bill was EXACTLY 666 ....... God wants me to return to Devil's music( this might seem ironical.... but thats the truth)... So lets see whats on the menu tonight :

Vulgar Display of Power - Pantera
Far Beyond Driven - Pantera
The Gathering - Testament
Reign in Blood- Slayer
Rust in Peace-Megadeth
The System has Failed-Megadeth
Kill 'em all- Metallica

Quite a snack I'll have. So what was the cure?? Turn the Depression into Aggression.

And I just couldn't control my itchy fingers so i am writing this. Yesterday during our chit chats(read leg pulling) this thing came up :

What will Bubba's kid say when his teacher asks him to sign on his report card where he has got F in the math test?

He will say:
" Jaao pehle us aadmi se sign leke aao jisne mere haath pe yeh likh diya tha :
Mera Baap B Com hai ."

PS: Bubba is a 2nd year student at IIM Indore
PPS: Sorry Bubba

Oct 5, 2006

Talking shit about a pretty sunset

Talking shit about a pretty sunset - Modest Mouse

Oh noose tied myself in, tied myself too tight
Looking kind of anxious in your cross armed stance
Like a bad tempered prom queen at a homecoming dance
And I claim I'm not excited with my life any more
So I blame this town, this job, these friends
The truth is its myself
And I'm trying to understand myself
And pinpoint where I am
By the time I get things figured out
I've change the whole damn plan
Oh noose tied myself in, tied myself too tight
Talking shit about a pretty sunset
Blanketing opinions that I'll probably reget soon
I've changed my mind so much I can't even trust it
My mind changed me so much I can't even trust myself

Amazing song! and how well it describes me( and I suspect many other people)...

Oct 3, 2006

Two of those days

Today for the first time in 1 and a half years i went to the library. Technically speaking it was my 3rd time....1st time being the introduction and 2nd time when i went to see how our library looks like from inside.
This monumental decision came after yesterday which was an extremely dull and depressing day for me.Just to show how bad yesterday was :

I watched Junebug ( I don't know why all critics love ALL independent low budget depressing movies...anyway the movie left me in bad taste and even more depressed)
So i thought of taking refuge in music... so listened to Black 17 times continuously(no kidding) ..last 6 times almost at full volume with my speakers cracking and my subwoofer making weird fart noises but I couldn't care less
Then i saw the last scene of Trainspotting 5 times in a row
All this was not helping so finally i saw 2 episodes of Seinfeld and 70s show and then slept with a strong resolution that i'll go to library tomorrow.

Ok coming back to library. It has some really good collection of magazines.Well I spent nearly 3 hours reading Time,Newsweek and Discover.I read an extremely interesting article by Roger Penrose( basically an excerpt from his book "The Road to Reality") on vagueness of Quantum Mechanics in which he gave his own theory on why can't we be at two places simultaneously just like electrons... after all anything that applies to electrons should apply to us.After avoiding it for nearly 3 hours I finally opened my FIM book.I had just read 1 page when I realised this : When people are trying to decipher how this world works I am reading what is Commercial Paper??? Am I that pathetic?And then even more fundamental questions than Gravity came to my mind..like why the fuck am I doing MBA ? And why the fuck did I do engineering (maybe coz I didnt even know the difference between science and engineering then).... anyway I decided that I can't stoop any further... I closed the FIM book and returned back to Discover.
So library did not help much in the depression.

Last lines from Black :

all the love gone bad, turned my world to black
tattooed all i see, all that i am, all i'll ever be...
i know someday you'll have a beautiful life, i know you'll be a star
in somebody else's sky, but why
why, why can't it be, why can't it be mine?

I love this song so much and I don't even identify with it!
Even if Eddie Vedder kills 100 innocent people he'll go to heaven just for writing and singing this song.
Anyone who doesn't like this song will burn in hell no matter what.... Oh what did you say ,you don't believe in hell... well don't worry I'll create one for you.

Sep 24, 2006

On how much I admire Golf

I loathe people who love watching golf.
Now come on when it comes to watching sports I am no less than a freak.You can find me watching Bundesliga matches all alone in the TV room, there have been days when I have watched each and every ball bowled in an utterly boring test match,I can watch tennis for hours without blinking an eyelid , I can watch F1 , I can watch Basketball,I can watch rugby, sometimes I can even watch Beach Volleyball( purely for my interest in sports...ok ok I know you can't think straight.)

But Golf.. Golf is different.Some influential people who were good at nothing started hitting balls arbitrarily...and the trend has continued ;even now some influential people who are good at nothing or who have become "good at nothing"( due to age,impotency ,insanity ,disease) continue to endorse Golf.And the increasing popularity of Golf just proves my theory that Global Warming has serious effects on brains of people with less brains( I am thinking of writing a paper on this .If anybody wants to co-author please send me your CV by email).
Imagine a situation :Tomorrow I am rich and popular ( or for that matter you are rich and popular..happy?) and have enough number of amazingly dumb followers. One day I am bored and start smoking a cigarette from my nose and one of those amazingly dumb follower watches me doing that.. he thinks its Cool!! I seize the opportunity, make a sport out of it and my name is written in the history books as the originator of the Great Game.

And to conceal the awesome idiocy of Golf they have introduced infinite jargons ( par,tee, handicap, punch,bunker.. what nonsense). Think of the jargon-less Golf when they tell people that in Golf you just have to hit the damn ball in the hole...people would be laughing their asses off!
One important thing that has kept Golf going is the snob appeal.If you are rich you have to play Golf.Some poor guy might like cleaning the toilets more than playing Golf but due to peer pressure he HAS to play.After all he is rich and lives in the company of some "elite" people.Its like if he says he doesn't want to play golf :" Why what happened? Is your company running in losses?".
I can still understand that some people might derive some sort of pleasure by playing Golf but I completely fail to comprehend what pleasure do people get in watching those people.
And who said slavery does not exist anymore.Isn't Caddie just a fancy name of a slave... " Hey Caddie I order you to carry my equipment!! Hey Caddie I order you to wipe the shit from my ass!!"
Tomorrow if Elin Nordegren gives me an offer where she is ready to ditch her husband(Tiger Woods) for me if I start playing Golf I would say ...YES!!!!!!!!( what did you think?? eh....)

Sep 19, 2006

Eulogy


Since I have watched almost every movie ever released whose name/poster /storyline/actors / director even remotely appealed to me and I am still not bored enough of movies I had no other option but to go for reruns.And I watched Trainspotting again( yet again).

If you ever wondered which is the best opening monologue(in fact the best opening scene) ever in a movie its this :

Click to view the 2nd most amazing monologue ever

Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on Sunday night. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourselves. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin' else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got heroin?

And if you ever wondered which is the best closing sequence( yeah its better than American Beauty) in a movie its this:

Click to view the most amazing monologue ever

Now I've justified this to myself in all sorts of ways. It wasn't a big deal, just a minor betrayal. Or we'd outgrown each other, you know, that sort of thing. But let's face it, I ripped them off - my so called mates. But Begbie, I couldn't give a shit about him. And Sick Boy, well he'd done the same to me, if he'd only thought of it first. And Spud, well okay, I felt sorry for Spud - he never hurt anybody. So why did I do it? I could offer a million answers - all false. The truth is that I'm a bad person. But, that's gonna change - I'm going to change. This is the last of that sort of thing. Now I'm cleaning up and I'm moving on, going straight and choosing life. I'm looking forward to it already. I'm gonna be just like you. The job, the family, the fucking big television. The washing machine, the car, the compact disc and electric tin opener, good health, low cholesterol, dental insurance, mortgage, starter home, leisure wear, luggage, three piece suite, DIY, game shows, junk food, children, walks in the park, nine to five, good at golf, washing the car, choice of sweaters, family Christmas, indexed pension, tax exemption, clearing gutters, getting by, looking ahead, the day you die.

You can watch these two scenes over and over for one and a half hours and still you'll get one heck of a movie but Trainspotting is much more than that.
I had first watched Trainspotting some years back and never really cared to find out the correct interpretation of the title until recently. Although Irvine Welsh never gave any explanation for the selection of the title ,Google did give me a satisfactory answer :

The next paragraph is purely for academic purposes( and it is an unadluterated copy-paste job from different sources):

In England in the 1980s, the term "trainspotter" started being used to describe those who track the schedules and car numbers of passing trains. This practice wasn't very widespread, so as time passed and the public became aware of the practice, the term became used as a mildly derogative term for anyone obsessed over minute details, to the point of obsessive-compulsion, of anything.And as Ewan Mcgregor puts it very aptly -The first thing is that heroin users mainline along their arms and inject up and down on the main vein. 'Station to station,' they call it. And for addicts, everything narrows down to that one goal of getting drugs. Maybe 'trainspotters' are like that, obsessively taking down the numbers of trains.Furthermore, after enough intravenous injections of anything, the vein that's getting the injections begins to collapse and turn a dark purple color. Heavy heroin users experience this even if they rotate injection spots; eventually the veins begin to darken and become quite noticable. British and American slang both call these darkened veins "train tracks." Given the "trainspotting" definition of watching and tracking trains, if the two ideas are combined, a "trainspotter" may mean someone whose hobby is keeping track of train tracks from heroin use.According to yet another interpretation,the movie compares the meaninglessness of heroin addiction with the pointlessness of trainspotting.

Coming back to the point(and originality) I don't think Irvine Welsh or Danny Boyle had a great social cause in mind when they were doing Trainspotting.But the movie did give an important message and that too wonderfully. You don't have to be preachy to do that, you don't have to be all-out depressing to do that, you don't have to be over the top to do that and you can serve hope in the end and still do that. You don't have to be Requiem for a Dream to scare people away from drugs.You can be humourous and still portray the sadness, isolation and desperation.
You can be Scottish, you can be addicted, you can be disgusted and you can be extremely funny all at one time:

It's SHITE being Scottish! We're the lowest of the low. The scum of the fucking Earth! The most wretched miserable servile pathetic trash that was ever shat on civilization. Some people hate the English. I don't. They're just wankers. We, on the other hand, are colonized by wankers. Can't even find a decent culture to get colonized by. We're ruled by effete assholes. It's a shite state of affairs to be in, Tommy, and all the fresh air in the world won't make any fucking difference!

And it was one of the best acted movies ever , oh no I won't bring in the topic of Oscars and its futility.You feel the desperation when Renton tries to reach for his pill in shit(literally) and its a mind bending experience for you too when Renton is hallucinating.
Who the fuck will try to touch something even remotely heroin after watching Trainspotting( If only people had better taste in movies and Trainspotting was as big a hit as a Titanic or Star wars there wouldn't be any drug problem existing in this world) .
No Shawshank Redemption or Godfather can change lives but any single scene in Trainspotting can( shit i am sounding as if I was personally affected).

Trainspotting is one of the greatest movies ever made and the good thing is that it didn't even try to be one.

Sep 16, 2006

UTOPIA

I was passing by and I managed to overhear these conversations:

" you know he didnt move a muscle for 3 days....oh my! he is so lazy!! so cool!
"I am breaking up with him... can u believe, he likes to work!!"

"hey i am converting from Floydism to Zepplenity.
And did u hear the news, Mr. Idontgiveafuckaboutrockmusic has been charged of atheism. He is going to be hanged next saturday!"

"Mech( Mechanical Engineering Party) won this general elections by a landslide. Reliable sources say that it was all due to negative propaganda by Elec. But whichever party wins we have to agree this country has become so much better place to live since engineers took over!"

"There is a public holiday tomorrow. The second in the series of spoofs directed by Peter Jackson is releasing " The Lord of the Swings: The Two..ahem"

"There was no beer supply today morning....there'll be shortage in the summer months i guess...what happened to all those promises of 24 hr beer supply...and that 250 crore budget of draught beer harvesting??"

AND THE FUTURE

"Dad..give me a rupee coin i want to travel to 2156."

"Oh you are from Neptune..nice to meet you..how is it going??"

"So you have finally decided to take that immortality pill..i hope you have given enough thought"

"I want to erase him from my universe..he is so irritating!"

"When are you flying to India ?"

Sep 5, 2006

Haphazardly again

First of all some observations about me :
  • I hate things being forced upon me ( thats a different matter that 90% of things are forced upon me one way or the other). But I try to break the shackles as far as possible.That might translate to something as simple as an act of NOT applying sauce on a Pizza or a Burger as a topping. If I make my Pizza all sauced up in the beginning itself I feel the sauce is being forced upon me and I hate it. I rather take the sauce separately and dip my slice to the extent which my mood permits at that exact moment.Now this leads to the other observation that I am fickle minded and impulsive.
  • This one is scary.I didn't realise this till very recently.Whenever I read something(which itself is a rare occasion ) I tend NOT to underline.I used to have my own theories to justify why I didn't underline...like it increases my reading speed, or grasping speed or concentration. Later I realized that the real reason why I didn't underline was that I WAS TOO LAZY to always hold a pen in my hand and underline. Isn't reading itself a big enough task, I don't want to overburden myself.
Oh my god I can analyze human behaviour better than those phoney psychologists. Or maybe its just a hangover from I Heart/Love Huckabees ( Awesome movie)..You'll love this if you can tolerate a bit of philosophy and you like weird movies.Jason Schwartzman, Mark Wahlberg, Jude Law , Dustin Hoffman, Naomi Watts in bikini only add up to the spice ;)

I think all Holocaust movies like Schindler's List and Pianist are way way overrated.The point is that we mostly get impressed/influenced by the ratings/applause given by American or British sites/people.And why they like these movies so much? Because these movies show German cruelty so vividly that they almost glorify it.This helps the Americans to overcome their own guilt of killing millions of innocents in WW2. So what we dropped atom bombs, Germans and Japanese deserved to die for their inhuman acts.

Rockstar (Supernova/Inxs) on Star World rocks.Its just like American Idol but with 1000 times more attitude and 1000 times better songs.Which other show will you find a conversation like this :

Dave Navarro(former RHCP guitarist and Co-Host of the show ) to a contestant : So how do you feel, you have got the highest number of votes this time......

Contestant( A Canadian) : I knew it .The only American contestant here can't sing well and I am better looking than all the other Non- Americans!!...and so...
Dave Navarro starts saying something.

Contestant to Dave: Nobody gets to interrupt me fucker

Dave Navarro: You made a big mistake. When I told you that I don't have any influence on the votes(results) I lied you son of a bitch!

Can you find a better breakup line :

Tangerine, Tangerine,
Living reflections from a dream;
I was her love, she was my queen,
And now a thousand years between.

Led Zeppelin- Tangerine

Federer is winning this US Open

Earlier people used to have bets on whether somebody can make it to TV or even newspapers( People actuall planned heists or scams to win the bets.Even I planned it once) .Now with zillion hungry news channels people have started betting on who CAN escape TV .

Greatest mystery story ever written :

If I kill you how would you know?

Author: me :)


Aug 22, 2006

Eye Candy

When I said they are Goddesses I really meant it.
















You can thank me for two breathtaking wallpapers :)

Aug 17, 2006

Sometimes, I can be extremely irritable and mean

Especially just after my afternoon nap.So you know when not to talk to me.
People say these all the time:

If only I had studied!!

( oh yeah i know man....its just because you are not studying that you are stuck with us lesser mortals.And I hope God gives his signal soon so that you can start studying and you are liberated from this world full of dumb animals.)

I'll tell you one thing if you promise you won't tell it to anyone else.

( first of all how can u assume that i give a damn about your thing and i'll waste a promise on that and anyway when was the last time anybody kept his promise. In fact I seriously think that you want the whole world to know your thing and thats why you added the promise clause.But you must know that these psychological tricks have become very old.So why don't you stop trying hard to be Important and tell me the thing coz if you take more time I might just ask you to shove the thing up your ass.)

I hope I am not looking too bad...I didn't have time to dress up properly etc etc

( As a matter of fact you are looking disgustingly bad.i can barely stand smelly you right now.No matter how much you want me to praise your beauty or swank, I won't. I don't want you to live in the world of false dreams.)

This country is going to dogs!What kind of impotents are sitting up there! Why can't they just drop a bomb in Pakistan

(Oh yes and when they drop a bomb here to return the favour, people like you will be the first one running here and there holding on to your pants and cursing "those foolish ministers."
PS: I am in no way defending our dear politicians . I still think they are all mostly assholes.)

I am definitely quitting smoking "this time"

( this is very much like the promise one. First of all I know you say this everyday. Secondly why do you think it will make an inch of difference to me or anyone else if you die of lung cancer tomorrow. So don't brag about how you used to smoke 2 packs a day and now "thinking" of stopping.Its as simple as it sounds: I Don't Care.)

It was love at first sight.

(Holy shit! i didn't know your vocab was so pathetic.Get hold of a dictionary. You just might stumble upon the right word.)

An extremely annoying kid throwing things here and there, shouting , trying to act smart.
Aunty : " See!!! how naughty he has become!!"

( I know aunty you are so proud of the fact. But can't you see he is just pain in the asses of all the people sitting here.All of us want to strangle him ,its just that we are bound by the respect for you. I suggest you to stop being happy and slap him if you don't want him to become a roadside thug when he grows old.)


PS: I also say some of the above mentioned stuff sometimes; so no need to get offended.

Aug 12, 2006

of wishes and fetishes and other weird stuff.

The way Wanda gets turned on when someone spoke Italian , French or any other language was very funny. If you don't know I am talking about the movie A Fish called Wanda( 1980s comedies rock!!!!). Well now I feel a sort of empathy with Wanda . And hell I don't even need different languages , just the Brit accent ( of English) is enough to turn me on( ok not sexually like in the case of Wanda) but a turn on nevertheless.Music or Movies, just make them britishly and they become awesome. I am not even talking about Gods popularly known as Pink Floyd , Radiohead, Led Zeppelin or Black Sabbath; just get some local Brit band and purge them from American adulteration(if any) and it all sounds so beautiful.Even if they simply say "I love God" it sounds like a sermon that not even the Pope can deliver.Ditto for movies , if Trainspotting and Lock,Stock and Two Smoking Barrels weren't made in UK they would have lost half their charm. Some people will argue that if they were made in US they would have atleast understood the dialogues. Oh yes, it needs serious practice to understand what all those crazy people talk. You need to be a movie buff. :)
Coming back to A Fish Called Wanda ...this is probably the best "Romantic" line ever used by a person to woo his girl in any movie!!

This is what Archie says to Wanda : "Wanda, do you have any idea what it's like being English? Being so correct all the time, being so stifled by this dread of, of doing the wrong thing, of saying to someone "Are you married?" and hearing "My wife left me this morning," or saying, uh, "Do you have children?" and being told they all burned to death on Wednesday. You see, Wanda, we'll all terrified of embarrassment. That's why we're so... dead. Most of my friends are dead, you know, we have these piles of corpses to dinner. But you're alive, God bless you, and I want to be, I'm so fed up with all this. I want to make love with you, Wanda. I'm a good lover - at least, used to be, back in the early 14th century. Can we go to bed?"


I have always wanted to play guitar . Well blame it on lack of motivation or sheer laziness , I won't touch the guitar on my own.To get in the mood I have also tried seeking professional help so that they can instill some desire into me( and its not that I can't learn ,in fact I used to play Banjo pretty well). And my conversation with my instructor goes something like this:

Me: Sir, I want to learn to play guitar
Him: Good. We'll start from the basics. You should practise A minor today.
Me: Whats your problem. I don't have that much time.I am not here to get grades. Just teach me how to play fucking Highway Star and I'll be a happy man.
Him: Hmmmm........... Get Lost.

So I get lost , go to my room open the guitar tabs for highway star on google( my heart burning with passion) .I decide to first listen to Highway Star for the last time , before I start playing it myself. And then a thought occurs , if there are so many people in this world who can play guitar so amazingly why do I need to flex my muscles. I'll instead utilize my energy in listening and appreciating them.

Believe me if you are lazy and impatient at the same time you are doomed.

Aug 4, 2006

My Lists : Part 1

Songs that are in the top of my mind:

Best Songs to give you neck sprain :

Pull me Under : Dream Theater
Holy Wars(..the punishment due) : Megadeth
Painkiller : Judas Priest
Beautiful People : Marilyn Manson
The Four Horsemen :Metallica
Cemetery Gates : Pantera

Best Guitar Solos:

Return to Serenity : Testament
Shine on You Crazy Diamond : Pink Floyd
Alive : Pearl Jam
No More Tears : Ozzy Osbourne
Stairway to Heaven : Led Zeppelin
Painkiller: Judas Priest
Hangar 18: Megadeth

Best Guitar Riffs:

Whole Lotta Love: Led Zeppelin
Iron Man : Black Sabbath
Heaven Beside You: Alice in chains
Immortality : Pearl Jam
Sweet Home Alabama: Lynyrd Skynyrd
Sweet Child o mine : Guns n Roses
Highway to Hell: AC DC

Best Songs to soothe your soul :

All I need - Air
The Golden Age - Beck
In the Waiting Line- Zero 7
The Rain Song - Led Zeppelin
No Surprises - Radiohead
Beautiful Girl - INXS

Best Instrumentals :

Original Motion Picture Score : American Beauty
Talisman : Air
For the Love of God : Steve Vai
Chariots of Fire: Vangelis

Best Songs when you are low or when you want to get depressed :

Falling Down : Travis
Street Spirit( fade out) : Radiohead
Black: Pearl Jam
Wearing the inside out: Pink Floyd
Hurt : Nine Inch Nails

Best songs when you are happy :

Over the hills and far away : Led Zeppelin
Happiest Day of our lives/Another Brick in the Wall 2: Pink Floyd
Bohemian Rhapsody : Queen
LA Woman : The Doors
Freebird: Lynyrd Skynyrd
Don't you forget about me : Simple Minds
Drive : Incubus

On a long drive in a rainy pretty weather :

Riders of the storm : The Doors
La La love you - Pixies
Hush - Deep Purple
Turbo Lover- Judas Priest
1979- Smashing Pumpkins
Lady-Modjo
Whats up- 4 Non Blondes
Lemon Tree- Fool's Garden
Scar Tissue: Red Hot Chili Peppers

When you want to sing along:

Comfortably Numb: Pink floyd
Release : Pearl Jam
Summer Holiday: Cliff Richard
Shine : Collective Soul
Fear of the Dark: Iron Maiden
Take away my pain : Dream Theater
Govinda:
Kula Shaker :)
Smells like Teen spirit: Nirvana

When you feel like committing a murder/ destroying public property/Starting an inferno:

Killing in the name of: Rage Against the Machine
Rape Me: Nirvana
Parallel Universe: Red Hot Chili Peppers
Man in the Box: Alice in Chains
Number of the Beast: Iron Maiden
All my life: Foo Fighters
1996: Marilyn Manson

Jul 28, 2006

The LAB song

Looney had all the loot,
But he had a bruised foot.

Stars in the sky are so lame,
They play this pretence game;
Trying to achieve that cheap fame.

This is a world of tit for tat,
Rat is now not afraid of cat.
This world is no longer dull,
All agreements are void and null!

Something is buzzing over me,
Its my head and its demanding a fee.
One day for all locks there'll be only one key,
You'll all wear slaves ,its my curse -Master I have to be.

Yesterday I was reading a book,
She gave me this sexual look;
I said - you are not real, thats your plight,
She said- for my rights I shall fight.

Alcohol asked me how do you do?
I am fine sir, THANK you.

I am so tired of sleeping, now I'll sleep,
When I am famous, you'll say my lyrics are so deep.



Jul 22, 2006

Bring it on!!

If anybody's seen Full Metal Jacket they'll understand what getting hardened is..only difference is that they got devoid of all the compassion and pity and we(student of iit kharagpur electrical department) got devoid of all the fear and shame.

At the risk of being stripped of my BTech Degree (yes they can actually do that till 5 years of my passing!!!!) here I present the tales from the most horrifying department of kgp.

These are actual conversations that took place( some of them with me also):
But I am writing all in first person because its easier to do so.

1)
Just the 2nd day after my joining (I am a cute ,innocent guy who is very excited at being in a good engineering college).Gone are those kiddish school days when you had to think a lot about the aesthetics of your lab files...The intelligent Prof. here must be paying attention on the funda and not all the embellishments. So I draw the first circuit diagram without a scale and with a pen..but it looked pretty neat.Yup it did.

Me(brimming with confidence): Sir, here is my circuit diagram
Prof: What were you thinking when you drew this thing. You are no more in a school where you could get away with whatever you wanted.I won't read this nonsense.
.....He throws my report as far as he can and says " follow the trajectory."

2)
Just the 4th day after my joining. I am still a cute and innocent guy.There is a routine viva after the experiment.

Prof: some question
Me: Wrong answer
Prof:Tell me one thing. Do you own any farm in your village?
Me: No sir.
Prof: Oh no, then what will you do when we throw you out of this institute!!

3)
Still a cute and innocent guy.

Prof: Who was sitting infront of you in JEE( joint entrance examination).You are such an idiot.There is no way you could get here without cheating. Even a 9th class student would have a better IQ than yours.

4)
Now this one is a classic. And mind you I am NOT making anything up.
A group( 5 guys and a girl) couldn't complete their experiment in the stipulated time.

Prof.: What were you doing for the last 3 hours??? Scratching your balls?..( after a brief pause)..or whatever the case maybe!!!!!

5)
Prof.: I see a very bleak future for you. Lets suppose that you do complete your degree in 4 years. With your kind of CGPA you wont get any job, ditto for schols in any US univ. On the basis of my experience with you i can surely say that you won't be able to clear CAT or UPSC or any other exam.So what will you do??

There are innumerable other incidents...there have been cases when my viva-partner has chewed the pen in nervousness( which he borrowed from the prof. taking our viva)...or even reached the threshold of tears ( in case of girls threshold was quite often crossed)..

But all this was in 1st year and probably 2nd year. After that we were a complete new breed of "hardened" men.

So, bring it on!


Jul 15, 2006

Shine on, you crazy diamond

Come on you raver, you seer of visions, come on you painter,
you piper, you prisoner, and shine!

January 6, 1946 - July 7 ,2006

Jul 10, 2006

Bow down infront of the Gods!

What a final...if not in terms of quality, definitely in terms of drama.
And yes Italy deserved it.
First let me tell you one thing if any player other than Cannavaro wins Golden Ball it would be absolutely shocking and insane.
Probably Pirlo and Buffon would come close. Zidane blew his chances ( I really feel sorry for him .He definitely was one of the best players ever. When he was in his prime form no other player could match even half of his class).
Ok, Italy weren't as positive as they were in previous matches but still they were gritty and resolute.
In 2nd half Italians totally lost their concentration .They were giving wrong passes all over the pitch and lost possession very easily.But one thing which was brilliant as always was defence. The only player who could have stopped Zidane and Henry was Cannavaro.France looked pretty good in latter half of the game and made some good moves but all that translated into only one descent shot on goal...Zidane's fiery header which was brillianlty saved by the best goalkeeper in the world.Now if you look at Italy , Toni hit the post with his header on an awesome corner kick from Pirlo( what a player he is!). And then the goal which was disallowed due to an offside decision( how close was it! especially when Toni himself didn't look offside).
Although Toni was involved in both the goal scoring opportunities I would have loved Gilardino coming on later for him.
What makes this victory special for Italy is that half of their players are uncertain of their future.Guess the crisis and controversies brings out the best in Italians( same happened in 1982!).And wow!Italy won on penalties ...Finally.
And all this while Italy was playing without Alessandro Nesta( He was out of knockout stage due to injury).He is one of my favourite players and is largely considered to be the best defender in the world!!. Italy without Nesta is like France without Henry.And could you believe it even without Nesta Italian defense was so damn scary. Materazzi did play his part quite well.
Lippi was as tactical and as intelligent as any coach can get.
And finally i would say it again ...where is Totti...my fav. midfield player??? Hopefully he'll come back when he is fully fit.

HAIL ITALY.


Jul 5, 2006

yup..boys you thoroughly deserved it!!

Italy=Classy....real Classy
Defence= Awesome
Midfield=Awesome
Finishing=Breathtaking
Cannavaro=God
Pirlo=God
World Cup 2006 Winner= Italy
Me= Happy( Yeah it is a solace ... Remember Italy= my team no. 3 ;)

Jul 1, 2006

world cup so far

that Spain is still a much much better team than France and Argentina is still a much much better team than Germany and that everyone cheats and everyone dives so no need to be a bloody hypocrite Henry and that you might have forgotten what you said at the end of Champions league final but I haven't and that England is damn lucky to have played Ecuador and playing depleted Portugal and I hope England loses for the betterment of football coz Eriksson your strategy sucks and that Ivory Coast was very unlucky to have gone out in first round and that Netherlands was always overrated and that Pekerman just why did you become defensive and that you can seriously enjoy watching Italy's awesome defense and that I miss amazing Totti which he was before injury and that so many yellow cards are ruining the world cup and that Spain's 4th goal against Ukraine and Argentina's second goal against S & M were stunning and that the funniest sight was Portugal and Netherland players sitting together and chatting after being red carded and that Brazil don't look unbeatable and that I have lost all bets and World cup is over for me and I don't care who wins but I'll be an inch happier if Italy it is.

Jun 25, 2006

well......

People this is a heartrending story of a nice guy called Marilyn Manson.As it happens with all the nice guys he also had to suffer at the hands of this cruel world.Accusations,blames,curses prohibition, he had to face it all.All the self righteous people labeled him anti-society anti-Christ devil.He became extremely agitated ...."oh you call me anti-christ....yes i am anti-christ and i am much more, i am anti-everything"..He voiced his anger through a song :

anti choice
anti girl
I am the anti flag unfurled
anti white and anti man
I got the anti future plan
anti fascist
anti mod
I am the anti music god
anti sober
anti whore
there will never be enough of anti more
I can't believe in the things
that don't believe in me
now it's your turn to see misanthropy
anti people now you've gone too far
here's your antichrist superstar
anti money
anti hate
anti things I fucked and ate
anti cop
anti fun
here is my anti-president gun
anti Satan
anti black
anti world is on my back
anti gay and anti dope
I am the faggot anti-pope
anti peace
anti life
anti husband, anti wife
anti song and anti me
I don't deserve a chance to be

Marilyn Manson - Antichrist Superstar-1996.

Mind-boggling Science Fiction 3

Me to my personal Artificially Intelligent buddy, Rocket:  Rocket, can you do this calculation for me. What's 7 + 4? Rocket: Dude, d...